All It Takes is One Decision

Have you ever sat down and really thought about how different you are now from who you once were? I'm sure you have. Nostalgia is a word in our language because enough people have had those thoughts that they needed a brand new word to describe this occurrence. Life is a series of decisions, ours and the decisions made by others, that shapes who we become. In an instant, a change of heart can completely derail the life you thought you were going to have.

I know I was on a path to becoming a doctor. Then one day, I sat down and really thought about what I wanted out of this life. Years and years of schooling wasn't it. So just like that, I changed directions. I chose a different major and a different life for myself. My parents chose to relocate to a different state. Their decision helped me to finally start standing on my own two feet instead and choosing my life for myself instead of relying on and pleasing those who are important to me. So whether it is a decision you made or a change hoisted onto your life, all those little things add up to a completely new person.

That's the beauty of this life. Truly. You can't really get bored when in a single moment, a solitary idea, a chance for change lies the potential for a brand new path to walk. Whether you're calling all your own shots or letting the decisions be made for you by running out the clock, in an instant everything can be new again once that magic decision is made.

What are some key moments in your life? Where did your past self think you would be at this time in your life? Where do you think you will be in 5 years? Where do you wish you could be?

Why Are Empaths Weird?

For those of you who don't know, I am what's known as an empath. It's similar to a highly-sensitive person (HSP) or empathic person in that we perceive the world a little differently, but being an empath is it's own category. Discovering this label was one of the best days of my life because I finally understood why I was feeling the way I was and knew what to do about it.

The biggest defining characteristic in my opinion for empaths is that emotion isn't just something that is felt, it is transferable energy. Most people can read body language to determine the emotion of another, but they will reserve sympathy and empathy for friends and family. Empaths are open to the emotions of all people until they learn how to filter and protect their own emotions from being consumed by the emotions of others. Before I knew I was an empath, I was extremely emotional simply because I wasn't aware that I was living other people's bad days.

A little back story for you, growing up I was very introverted and selectively social. Because of this, I didn't have much opportunity to be impacted by the emotions of others. Then I got married and moved in with a man who is very detached from his emotions so there really isn't much coming from him. But then we got a roommate who was by nature a very angry person. I don't know if he really knows that he is this way, but it was impacting me in a huge way. I had no patience anymore with our puppy or my husband. Or the roommate for that matter. I was very bloated and couldn't get rid of my belly chub (fun fact, empaths tend to carry extra weight around the middle as a form of protection or a buffer because we have weaker solar plexus chakras). My marriage was taking a huge hit because I couldn't figure out why I was so upset all the time. I would attach any reason I could find to try to explain what was going on inside of me when in reality, it was coming from outside the whole time. That's right, not all emotions felt by empaths come from within themselves, and discovering how to decipher between one's own emotions and the emotions of others is key to maintaining sanity.

So you know the emotions you're feeling aren't your own. Now what? Crystals. Crystals saved my marriage. I got a set of crystals from an amazing friend and started meditating with them daily to try to rebalance and strengthen my chakras. My husband would add his energy to my solar plexus and heart chakras as well because I needed the extra help - I have said this so many times, but I don't know how I got so lucky with this man. I spent more time in nature and focused on grounding myself and defining where it is that I ended and others began in my mindscape. Now that I am more aware and practiced, I am now able to shut myself off from the emotions of others, but it took a while and some trauma to get to this point.

Some more fun traits shared by empaths are we tend to be old souls who just know things. People we barely know feel comfortable telling their stories and sharing their pain with us. We can also take on physical symptoms from others in addition to emotions. Addictive personalities is a huge one, and we are truth seekers. We try to live as authentically as we can to stay true to our own happiness since there is so much misery we walk through everyday. Alone time is a must as it is exhausting to be around people. ESPECIALLY fake people. We can usually tell when people are lying if we stop seeing the best in people long enough to recognize the incongruence in them. And as much as we take on emotions, we can also put emotion out into the world to try to make others feel better. We'll give up our own happiness and take your sorrow so maybe we can save someone. When it comes to fight, flight, or freeze, we freeze because we believe so strongly in the innate goodness of people no matter how many times we have been proven wrong.

Being an empath has become trendy so there are tons of resources out there now. Any other empaths out there willing to share their experiences? Do you think you might be an empath? Are there any people that you just love being around because their optimism is that contagious, and they make you feel good?

Watch Us Grow: Elisandra's Chapter

Some of these are for length, and some of these are for weight so keep that in mind when we go from a melon to a leek!

Small Pea

Raspberry

Green Olive

Prune

Lime

Plum

Peach

Lemon

Navel Orange

Avocado

Onion

Sweet Potato

Heirloom Tomato

Small Cantaloupe

Banana

Spaghetti Squash

Large Mango

Corn

Rutabaga

Hothouse Cucumber

Cauliflower

Chinese Cabbage

Butternut Squash

Cabbage

Asparagus

Large Jicama

Cantaloupe

Pineapple

Crenshaw Melon

Honeydew Melon

Swiss Chard

Leek

Mini Watermelon

40 weeks! 7 pounds, 20 inches

Elie's Birth Story!!

Photo cred to Sarah Wiseman Photography. Love her!! P.S. this is her very first cry :')

I literally wrote up my entire 40 week bumpdate post for nothing since this little lady decided to arrive on her due date, like who does that?? XD But let's get down to the nitty gritty! Expect some gory details.

Saturday, June 24

I woke up feeling like poop. The baby dropped hard, and my pelvis could really tell. I was incredibly sore doing anything other than lying down. I had maybe 7 contractions all day. I just wasn't feeling too hot. I told Husband before he left for work that there might not be a point in him going in but insisted he go anyway just in case. Around 2100 I ate half my dinner (read the only thing I had to eat until after this baby was born). Around 2300 I started telling myself I should probably go to bed, but I got way too distracted by Zuma and ended up staying up later than anticipated. I kept going to the bathroom after each contraction because for whatever reason contractions made me have to pee.

Sunday, June 25

0148 my water broke while walking to the bathroom after contraction number 4 in 2 hours. I immediately called my midwife to tell her and determine what our course of action should be. She advised going back to bed (little did she know I hadn't been to bed yet). Then I called Husband's work to let him know we were having a baby TODAY. To help pass the time while I waited for him to get home, I called my mom and sister. While on the phone with them, my contractions really picked up from every 30 minutes to every 3. The intensity was very mild, about a 2 on the pain scale. 0248 Husband got home and got our birth pool set up with all the birth supplies in the kitchen ready to go for the midwife.
0308 my contractions started to intensify. I put on a movie to try to stay distracted. By 0405, my contractions were consistently 3 minutes apart but were only lasting 40 seconds which told us that Elie was busy trying to turn herself around and get into a better birthing position. 0644 I had managed to do some sleeping between contractions, but they were getting stronger. Still just 3 minutes apart and not lasting long enough. I got in the shower three times to try to ease the back labor. My pelvis was in so much pain. When the contractions were in my uterus instead, it was a lot more bearable. I had been losing pieces of my mucus plug all morning and threw up twice. I was so hungry, but I just didn't feel like eating. Even water was hitting my stomach wrong.
1112 the contractions are starting to get bad, about a 4 or 5 on the pain scale. I woke Husband up to microwave a rice sock for me to put on my back. Getting on my knees with pillows under my chest and the sock on my back really helped with the pain. Gravity kept the baby off my pelvis, and the heat helped my pelvis to relax and let Elie move around as she needed to. Eventually, all the weight was too much for my knees, and I had to move, but it felt great while it lasted. I asked Husband to apply counterpressure to my back so I could sleep a little more because I decided that at 1400 I was going to get up and try to eat and drink before birthing this baby.
Bad idea, though, because I woke up at 1357 to contractions that were finally five minutes apart and lasting longer than a minute, but these contractions were no joke. They had two peaks. Right as I thought it was starting to taper off, it would build again. Most of these were lasting 2 minutes, sometimes even three. I hit a 7 on the pain scale, but the midwife was thinking it was still going to be a few more hours. At this point, I lost my composure. I was really concerned that I wasn't going to be able to handle this after all.
1425, the contractions were coming right on top of each other, and I was feeling the need to push. I finally got some bloody show. I was having a hard time staying calm at this point and was yelling at Husband to get my midwife here now. He started filling up the pool. My midwife said I was probably dilated to a 7 so to help stall labor until she could get here (she lives in Stillwater so it would be about an hour before she could get here), I had my butt up in the air with my chest down to try to use gravity to keep Elie off my cervix so I would stop dilating. I texted the photographer to tell her to go ahead and head this way.
1457 even with my butt up, I was starting to feel like I had to push again so I got in the pool. We had run out of hot water, of course, so we started boiling water to get it up to my body temp so as not to shock the baby. Luckily we were only off by 4 degrees so it didn't take too many pots of boiled water. The photographer got here around 1520. About 10 minutes later, so did the midwife. She did a quick vitals check and made sure the baby was handling the contractions just fine. All was well. We talked through what to expect and how to move through the next stages of labor. I got the okay to start pushing her down further.
Around 1640, fetal ejection reflex kicked in. Husband was having trouble not passing out so he was elsewhere, but the midwife said we were about to have a baby so I called him into the living room. At this point the contractions were far apart again so I was getting plenty of time to catch my breath between pushes. I had a mirror and actually saw her head even before the midwife did. At the point where she should have crowned and stayed out, she got sucked back in so it looked like the cord was probably wrapped around her neck. After I got her head out a second time, the midwife got the cord unwrapped. Then just a couple more pushes, and I had our baby girl! She was born at 1704.
She started screaming as soon as she came to the surface which really surprised me, but it got her a 9 on the APGAR at one minute old. Her second score was a 10. The placenta took its sweet time exiting my body because I had my legs too close together so it didn't have room to escape.

They are so protective of her already

We went into the living room to do our checks. Baby Girl weighed in at 7 pounds even and 20 inches even. We both looked good, but my blood pressure was on the lower side probably because of how little I had eaten. I had no perineal tearing and no hemorrhoids. I did have a labial split on each side, but those heal so much faster than anything else. Also, we did no perineal prep. No perineal massage. No Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. No Evening Primrose Oil. Nothing. So if you take your time through your birth and go through the journey together with your baby trusting your body, it doesn't have to be a rough experience.

Now that it's all said and done, had I known how close I was to the end of the labor, I would've handled it a lot better. I was just convinced I had so many hours ahead of me. All in all, we had about 15 hours of labor, most of which I spent sleeping on and off, followed by 28 minutes of pushing after the fetal ejection reflex kicked in. And I got to have my baby girl in the comfort of my own home in my own way. I didn't have to worry about our dogs who handled meeting Mommy's new puppy very well (I attribute this to them being around at the time of the birth instead of us showing up with a stranger). We do have a chiropractic appointment lined up for little miss Elie, but the midwife says she didn't have a rough journey out so it should be routine. So ya! That's our story :) Feel free to ask me any questions. I'd love to share!

Bumpdate #32 (39 weeks)

Woohoo! Full term! And I've made it through my first week as a stay-at-home wife. On our way to being a stay-at-home mom. The final countdown is still flying by so to all of you who say this last bit drags on and on, I have no idea what you're talking about. We've added Rebozo sifting to our daily regiment to try to get this baby from the right side to the left, and I feel as much crazy movements after that as I do after the chiropractor!

Rainbow:

All your systems are working away. Your digestive tract has the meconium ready for us for when you make your grand entrance. Your vernix and lanugo are mostly gone now, too. You're still adding more fat to your frame, and you're about the size of a small watermelon. Midwife says you're weighing in around 6-6.25 pounds, and you've got a short body. If your legs aren't long like I think they will be, then you're just going to be a tiny nugget.

Me:

Period-like cramps have started. I've been having them once a day most days this week. But nothing consistent. And now that I'm not working, the Braxton Hicks have calmed down, too, but I did have one real contraction. Then nothing. My areolas are officially uneven, though. The right one is bigger which makes it look like that boob is smaller, but I'm pretty sure that the boobs are the same size. I am so tired all the time this week. Even little excursions are wiping me out so I'm doing a LOT of sleeping. Gotta get it all in while I still can!

Anyone have any tips for introducing the baby to the dogs? Anyone's mommy instincts get it right on if your baby was coming early or late? What did you miss most about pregnancy after it was over?

Bumpdate #31 (38 weeks)

We're here! We're on baby watch! I was born two weeks early as my mom's first baby so we'll see what happens! And today is my last day of work :/ so many mixed emotions about that. As much as I'm glad to have this time to focus exclusively on baby preparation and resting, I'm going to miss the people at work. But hey, so long as everything goes to plan, I can always go back!

Rainbow:

You're still considered early term this week, but all systems are go! Your reflexes are in place to get you through the early days while we're both learning together. Your brain is still developing as it will continue to do throughout your life. You're still putting on weight and practicing your breathing, and you've had hiccups less frequently. You're also as big as a leek now! It's crazy to think how many inches of baby are curled up inside my uterus. As much as we were starting to think you were going to come early, I would really prefer you make it to July after all to give us time to work on what we learned about me this week.

Me:

I found out at the chiropractor that my pelvis is tilted too far forward which means my bones are blocking this baby from getting into a better birthing position. In addition to our once daily inversions, we're now adding 2-3 times daily pelvic tilts. I have also started paying even more attention to how my pelvis is positioned while standing and doing my best to keep it in a more neutral position. Thanks to all of that and my first ever Webster's adjustment, my lower back and round ligaments have been pretty sore. We see the chiropractor again on Tuesday to check our progress. Fingers crossed for good news! And apparently my blood pressure was a little elevated for a couple days last week because my head wasn't feeling too great. But other than that, the BH have continued everyday with 4 in one day being the most I've had. Heartburn is still calmed down for the most part. Fatigue has definitely set in hard.

Who all had a first baby come early? Anyone have any other tips or tricks from Spinning Babies they'd like to share? Anyone have tips for surviving a long back labor?

Bumpdate #30 (37 weeks)

Today is my baby shower! Woohoo! I know we're cutting it a little close, but it should still be fun. Junky food, friends and family, fun and games. And pedicures with my mommy and sissy tomorrow :)

Rainbow:

Depending on which app you look at, you could be considered term today. I like the idea of calling the time from weeks 37-39 "early term" meaning you would most likely be completely fine coming any day now, but hanging out for the extra couple weeks to give your lungs and brain a little more time is totally fine, too! It feels like you're spending more time in the middle and on the left, but you're still not very settled into an anterior position. I'm hoping you'll flip around before I end up having to go through the more painful ordeal of laboring an ROT or LOT baby. But hey, still better than posterior! You're also about as long as swiss chard now, still just growing into yourself. Can't wait to see how much hair you have.

Me:

This week I have been feeling very run down. My hips are killing me. If I sleep without a pillow between my knees, I am miserable (chiropractor for the win!). My leg muscles are sore and tight and crampy. I have Braxton Hicks contractions almost everyday. I've had a weird cough. My sleep has been very all over the place, and I've lost motivation. I have had to pee so much more often just from getting punched in the bladder that it's like if I feel even the slightest bit of fullness in my bladder, I'm heading to the bathroom to stay ahead of the baby. All of this is to say I'm starting to think we won't have our July baby after all, and I'm not ready to say good-bye to this chapter. I have been planning on going 41 weeks this whole time, but my always head-down nugget seems to have other plans.

For those who have been following the pictures closely, does it look like I've dropped yet? When did you go on baby watch and start really paying attention to your body for labor signs?

Bumpdate #29 (36 weeks)

The nesting phase has started to set in more or less, but really, knowing we are 2 weeks away from being on baby watch has me wrapping up everything we haven't done yet. I finally started washing diapers which is good. After my baby shower next week I'll hopefully have some clothes to wash so this kid will have something more to wear than just diapers. Work is starting to wear me down so we'll see if I do keep working until I pop, or if I'm going to put in 2 weeks to give myself a real end date. If I get all the nesting nonsense done, it probably won't bother me so much to have my time split like it is.

Rainbow:

You're still just putting on the finishing touches and gaining weight. You're up to about the size of a crenshaw melon now! The inversions seem to be really helping because you're starting to spend more time in the center instead of just on the right side which is awesome for me. Your movements are definitely smaller now that there isn't much room left for you, but you're still as active as can be.

Me:

Thanks to a dog (cough, cough, Achilles, cough) that has learned how to jump the fence, I have been doing a lot of extra walking around which has started me having quite a few more Braxton Hicks contractions. The heartburn is starting to settle down which is great since my appetite has taken off again. Your proximity has me nervous that we won't get everything ready for you in time, but I am so excited to meet you and see your little face. This is also the week we start perineal massage so that's going to be fun.

Any tips for getting through the last month of pregnancy? Has anyone done perineal massage, Evening Primrose Oil, or the 6 dates a day trick to shorten labor and prevent tearing? How close to your guess date did you keep working?

Bumpdate #28 (35 weeks)

Ahhh!!! Time is still just flying by! On the plus side we finally have all the baby furniture put together. Now just to finish organizing the other room, and we'll be good to go! Just over a month left until our guess date. And we finally got our maternity pictures done :) I can't wait to get them back; I'm so excited!

Rainbow:

You're still moving around quite frequently throughout the day, and some of your stronger movements are giving me an opportunity to practice relaxing. Your kidneys are fully developed, and your liver can process some waste. Nearly all systems are a go! You're also about as heavy as a honeydew melon and putting on the pounds. If you are born now, chances are that you wouldn't even need to stay in the NICU at all :)

Me:

Really not much new for me this week. Still doing what we've been doing. I will say I'm starting to get more tired at work, but I'm also getting more hours lately thanks to it being summertime so it could easily be a combination of both simply working more and carrying around an ever growing baby.

For those of you that had maternity pictures done, are you glad you did? At what point did the final month start to stretch on and on for you? Anyone have a baby still flipping head up to down this close to term?

Bumpdate #27 (34 weeks)

OMG! It's getting so close to baby watch time! As much as I really think this baby is going to be late, I can't stop thinking about how I was born 2 weeks early. We could be 4 weeks away from having a baby! And it's our first Mother's Day. What a day.

Rainbow:

You definitely scared me making me think you were breech or transverse, but it's just the way you kick, you cause your butt to shove into me at the same time. Which by the way, if you could keep your butt out of my ribcage, that'd be great. Your vernix is getting thicker this week, and your lungs are starting to mature! A couple more weeks until breathing won't be such a questionable act for you to accomplish. You're about as heavy as a cantaloupe now, and your growth has leveled back out again. You're still very much so a right-sided baby with your head almost all the way down into my pelvis, and you've been more active this week than last week.

Me:

We finally have stretch marks on the belly! I realize most people would not be excited about this, but I am ecstatic that I have physical proof that a vegan pregnancy is just as normal as an omni pregnancy. My baby is having growth spurts and doing all the right things just like I knew we would. Heartburn is almost a daily struggle now, and I have a second hemorrhoid which sucks. I'm either going to start applying coconut oil or invest in some witch hazel since I'll want it post birth anyway. Or both. It just blows my mind because I poop more pregnant than I ever did before, and I am definitely not constipated so it has to be because of increased blood volume and flow. My blood pressure was slightly elevated at this last visit, but it could've just been an off day. A couple weeks, and we'll know if it's starting to be a more consistent thing.

How many of you did have your first baby early? How many of you still hadn't had your baby shower this far along (like me)? Anyone have any cures for hemorrhoids?

Bumpdate #26 (33 weeks)

Not much new this week, just final countdown jitters! I know being nervous is totally acceptable, but it feels weird to be nervous with how much preparation I have done. It's crazy to think how much my life is about to change and how much change has already happened this past year.

Rainbow:

This week starts your period of heavy-duty weight gain; we're talking half a pound every week for the next four weeks! You're starting out about the size of a pineapple. I'm excited to see just how big you get when we're all said and done. This week your skeleton is also hardening up (except for your skull which won't fuse for a while after birth). You're still incredibly excited when your dad gets home which as cute as it is, you're getting too big! Mommy has trouble getting comfortable and still being able to breathe when you're squirming all over the place.

Me:

My belly has been itchier this past week which considering how much growth we had, that doesn't surprise me at all. The iron pills I've been taking have not constipated me at all thankfully, but they have given me the worst gas! I feel so bad for everyone at work. And with a big ole' baby pushing on my intestines, there just isn't much I can do. Additionally, I had to start drinking an 8-ounce glass of warm lemon water to help balance my pH. Apparently it's not uncommon for vegans to be too alkaline and end up with a screwy vaginal environment. Fun stuff.

What helped you the most with the jitters? Did you go on a babymoon? What helped you the most with transitioning from childfree living to first-time parenthood?

Bumpdate #25 (32 weeks)

Y'all, I really, really like my job. I haven't had the pleasure of working for such amazing and considerate people like this before. It's going to be hard to not go back. Hopefully we can figure something out so I can still work there because of how much I enjoy it. But back to baby stuff! We've got our maternity shoot booked, and it'll be the same photographer for the birth! It's getting so close!!!

Rainbow:

You're starting to lose your lanugo which is great! You'll look quite person-like without all that extra fuzz. Your skin and hair are becoming soft and smooth. From here on out, you're mostly just putting on weight and fine-tuning your existing systems. Lungs still need more time for sure, and I think the breathing practice must be getting tricky for you considering how often you have gotten the hiccups lately. Poor baby. You're still very firmly on the right side of my uterus and pretty active, but your kicks and elbows have lost their wallop now that you're running out of room. My fundal height grew 4 centimeters in 2 weeks (holy cow!!!), and your heart rate has mellowed down to around 130. You're about the size of a large jicama now (16.7 inches, over 3 pounds).

Me:

The only really new thing with me is I can't spend any time on my back including leaning back while sitting because it causes some serious lower-mid back pain and hinders my breathing. Heartburn has gotten progressively worse and more frequent. Still no stretch marks anywhere aside from my boobs. As this pregnancy progresses and the places where my hip piercings were continue to stretch out, I have realized it's a good thing that they got ripped out before they ended up just falling out XD.

How many growth spurts did your baby have? When did you notice the movements becoming less vicious? Did you have a maternity photo shoot?

Bumpdate #24 (31 weeks)

Happy belated birthday to me!  (it was the 21st in case anyone wants to know) It was awesome. My mommy came to town and surprised me by bringing my daddy, too!! We got to do so much catching up and just being together. I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend as well :)

Rainbow:

You've settled into a more regular sleep pattern. You tend to have pretty consistent active times as well. But my favorite development this week is you recognize Daddy's voice and prefer him over other people around me. When he finally got home from his training, you were so excited to hear him. You wouldn't kick or move around for other people like my mom, but as soon as you hear Daddy again, you start kicking up a storm. Your irises are now able to dilate with light even though you really aren't able to practice that in your dark world. You're about 16 inches long now (about the size of a bunch of asparagus), and you take full advantage of your length by stretching from my left hip to my right lung

Me:

I keep forgetting that I have a belly because I really haven't gained any weight anywhere except the three lumps on my front side so I keep bumping into things/people and forgetting that I don't fit through spaces like I used to. I feel so bad for everyone at work because they're usually my victims XD. And I had to take the belly ring out this week since it was starting to get painful. Made it 3/4 of the way through with it!
Other than that, though, not much else new.

For your pregnancy, did you notice that you had more changes in the beginning and baby had more towards the end? When did you have your baby shower? When did your baby start recognizing people other than you?

Bumpdate #23 (30 weeks)

70 days. 10 weeks. That's all that's left until our guess date arrives. Baby will probably get here sometime after that, but still. We're in the final stretch! Appointments are every 2 weeks now.

Rainbow:

You are so active now, it's blowing my mind. We can see your movements even when I'm standing. Truth be told, I'm a little excited for when you get too big to have as much force behind all those elbows you keep throwing. You're focusing mostly on putting on weight this week. Your eyesight is still progressing, but even by the time you're born, it'll only be 20/400 (I know that pain, mine has been way worse for most of my life). You're about 15.75 inches long and almost 3 pounds now which is about as big as a cabbage!

Me:

There really isn't much new with me other than the belly keeps growing. So far, only new stretch marks are still on my boobs which are still leaking through the night. Passed the GD test, though! The only thing that's needing some extra attention is my iron which is very borderline. I haven't been craving ice at all so at least I have avoided that pregnancy craving!

Were you anemic through pregnancy? What did you do (if anything) to correct it? How prepared did you feel when you hit the 3/4 mark?