October '15 Goals

As mentioned in September '15 Goals, I did get the Mission Statement up and the photo challenge completed!! Good blogging habit? That one is going to be a constant work in progress to improve and keep producing content for you all :)

As for what I would like to do for October:

• Keep the good juju flowing
• Start planning out blog posts weeks in advance in the hopes of being able to plan the whole year
• Themed months

Does anyone have any big plans for October? We finally moved into our house so life has been a tad hectic for us. Are we ready to keep moving towards our end goals?

Wrapping Up The Month

Another month has come and gone. The ends of months should be used as times of reflection and preparation for the month to come. For me, September's main goal was to get through the month in one piece (think impatiently waiting for my husband to come back so we could close on our house).

For the start of the next month, let's keep in mind where we want to be and what we need to accomplish in this month to stay on track. In addition I have an exciting announcement about how the blog is going to be running starting in October. Stay tuned for October '15 Goals!

I hope September was a good month for you all, and that you did accomplish at least part of your goals. Let's keep growing and working to make our dreams a reality with or without a college education or 2.5 kids or whatever else the average is.

What did you accomplish in September? What was holding you back from accomplishing more? What can we change to make October even better and one step closer to where we want to be?

Here's To You

I just wanted to let you know that you are doing great, and I am proud of you. You have overcome some pretty big things over the years. Look where you are now! It may not be exactly where you want to be yet, but you'll get there in time. Everything always plays out how it's meant to eventually.

It's okay to be a little confused. It's okay to be lost. It's okay to not have all the answers. It's in these times that we always learn the most because these are the times when we are the most open. Embrace it! Open your mind to all that life has to offer, and learn the new lesson.

October is going to be a big month. Let's put to bed the failures of September and be ready to move forward with new resolve. I have a compilation of motivational pictures because I don't know about you all, but I am definitely dragging this week. If you want to see more like this, let me know in the comments section. Get ready to tackle the adventures October has to offer!

What is Marriage Really?

Something that has been coming up a lot lately in my life is marriage so I figure why not just write another post about it! One thing I have noticed a lot in my 20 years is that as the weather gets cooler, people do start to think about settling down or taking another step closer in their relationships. My guess is the holidays remind us of the importance of our loved ones, and it's too cold to really go out (I really don't like the cold XD).

Let's talk some marriage, shall we? My opinion on marriage as something that isn't for everyone still stands, but let's back up. The reasoning behind marriage has varied a lot throughout history: trading daughters for profit, marrying off daughters to build social standing, religious reasons, love, contractual arrangements. Even today there are many different reasons.

If we're completely honest, marriage is nothing more than a legal document. Because of that, marriage in the sense that we have come to know it needs to be recognized as a legal step more than anything else. In today's world, couples can live together as a cohesive family unit without the paperwork so it really isn't necessary to take that legal step unless it is something that you are wanting.

Binding yourself to one person mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and legally is definitely a big step, and it takes a lot of time to undo each piece of a bond like that. I'll let you all in on a secret: if I wasn't legally married to Roger, I probably would have left. But thanks to the amount of effort it would've taken to undo everything, I decided it was less effort to give us another chance. Being married literally saved my marriage because now, after all the growing and nonsense we've gone through together, our marriage is unshakable and worth more to me than anything else I could have on this Earth.

As I keep reiterating, we're all different. Legal marriage was one of those things that I always wanted out of life, but really it is just some paperwork and benefits you don't have to have. Maybe for you and your relationship, paperwork isn't what fits best. But maybe a legal union is all you want without some of the other aspects (spiritual, physical, etc.). Moral of this story, know what exactly it is that you're wanting and why so you can make an informed decision.

What is your opinion on getting the marriage license and whole shebang as opposed to someone with a common-law marriage? Or maybe just shacking up or someone married to disguise their sexuality?

Are You Good Enough?

Are you good enough? Are you good enough for this college or that job? are you goodenough for theboy areyougoodenoughforhappinessorfulfillmentorloveorsuccessororororSTOP
Stop right there. Just pause. Take a deep breath. To anyone who is plagued by questions like these, I have some things to say to you.

Before I started blogging, I always wondered about how people could choose to put themselves out there on the Internet like that. Or having a YouTube channel?? That made me cringe just thinking about the number of trolls out there who love to talk all kinds of crap about anybody and everything. My favorite YouTube stars say they have always had good self-esteem and simply don't care about what others think. But how do you do that?

I know this is easier said than done. I've been there. I've been in the hole waiting for someone to throw some attention my way and pull me out of the darkness. So long as someone was holding my hand, I was fine. (Stage 1)

But eventually, my crutch stopped making me feel better. Outside forces weren't cutting it anymore, and no matter who I was with, I couldn't chase away all of the little monsters whispering in my ears. I was wearing the shadows around my shoulders everyday. (Stage 2)

When you reach this point, this is when you have to stop. This is when you have to pause and take that deep breath. This is when the healing starts. This is when we look inside and start the work. This is when we grow. Stage 3: this is when we recognize our talents and skills and passions.

Stage 4. Climb right out of that hole. Yeah, you may fall down a couple times (or a thousand). But you keep pushing. You have light in your very soul! The shadows don't have to weigh you down anymore. The turtle wins the race on this one. Slowly and steadily you build up your strength of character. Get good at forgiving yourself for having a bad day. Because you know what? It may be a bad day, but it's not a bad life. 

YOU ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH. I super pinkie promise swear to you that your value as a person comes from that last word: person. You are alive; you exist; you matter. And you are not alone. Self-esteem is one of the longest and hardest won wars, but let me tell you, making it to the top of the mountain is so worth it!! There is nothing like the liberation you feel when you take ownership of your own value and worthiness. There is no need to wait around for someone else to give you permission to be lovable. Give yourself the permission. You are something special. And you WILL find your purpose.

Have you struggled with self-esteem or self-worth? How did you get the courage to give yourself permission?

If you are having a low day, or maybe you're still in the hole, feel free to email me at cdossitm@yahoo.com or shoot me a private message on Facebook.

How To Find Your Purpose

Mark Twain once said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why." Now if you are anything like me, you floundered around for a bit bouncing between passions and dreams of wealth trying to figure out what on Earth you were going to do for the rest of your life. All of this is to say finding your "why" is often easier said than done, but here are some questions you can ask yourself to help make this process a little easier.

What Do I Want to Get Out of Life?
This one is pretty important because this question helps to define the direction you want to go as well as your end destination. This question is not about your career necessarily unless something you want out of life is like the prestige of being a doctor or whatever it is that your heart desires. The point here is to know what all you want out of life and what those things require in order to achieve. Keeping those requirements in mind, we move on to the next question.

Do I View Jobs as a Means to an End or a Defining Characteristic of Who I Am?
Not a very usual question, but this one matters, too. If you see a job as a means to an end, then you aren't going to be as caught up in needing to feel meaningful at work. This is the difference between saying, "I work at a museum," and saying "I am a tour guide." My dad has a friend who went to medical school and was certified in his specialty, but he wanted to be able to spend his days snowboarding so he actually works at McDonald's. His job was a means to achieve what he wanted out of life. But if you're like me, your job defines you. This makes it harder to be satisfied in run-of-the-mill jobs and will keep you striving to find a job that also plays into what you want out of life.

What Do I Like to Do, and What am I Actually Good At?
Having a passion for something and having a talent for something isn't necessarily the same thing. This question helps to pin-down what it is that you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life doing. Either figure out how to make money doing what you are passionate about or find a job doing something you're really good at. If you like painting, but something you want out of life is stability, you might rather get a job at an art gallery so that way you can still incorporate your passion and achieve stability.

Why Are We Here?
This is the most haunting question of them all, but let me tell that this one isn't as important unless philosophy is a passion of yours. If you have no real desire to make something out of this question, then simply understand that the "why" doesn't really matter since we are here, and that isn't going to be changing anytime soon. So go forth and chase your happiness, but keep in mind that we're all after the same thing. If an opportunity arises where you can help someone out, do it. Make life easier for others every chance you get. Because if we're completely honest, there isn't much purpose behind humanity's existence here other than to better the situation of those around us and make this world a little better.

Have you found your purpose? Does anyone have a coming of age story to share?

Mission Statement

Here it goes. Finally defining what it is that College Drop Out Success Story: In The Making is here to say. Honestly, this is one of those things that I know I should have done in the very beginning, but I wasn't 100% sure what all I wanted to write about. And without further ado:

The College Drop Out Success Story: In The Making is here to encourage everyone to live life to the fullest and to live exactly the life they want to lead. 

We don't have to be and do the things we're "supposed" to be and do. We are all entitled to find our own happiness instead of the happiness prescribed to us by others.

With that being said, a lot of this will be looked through the lens of my own personal experiences as that is how I am able to relate to the world. Tips and tricks and methodology will either be something that I have seen work in my own life or in the lives of others.

I promise to always provide content that is either uplifting, helpful, or deviant in some way (maybe a mix of all three). I promise to always be available and within reach (though I am pretty limited in the languages I am able to read and write).

In line with that, I have made a new email address exclusively for this blog so if you ever need to talk or have any questions, you can feel free to email me at cdossitm@yahoo.com, or you can always find me on Facebook at Facebook.com/cdossitm and shoot me a private message.

I can't wait to grow with you all now that we have a direction and some loose guidelines. If ever there is something you want to see, don't hesitate to make that suggestion! After all, I am here for all of you :)

September Goals '15

Update on how everything has been going so far: planner utilization hasn't been helping with my work schedule changing every week again. I'm really struggling to stay in a schedule when I don't have one. Our house is coming along (expect a blog post soon). Everything else about the blog is pretty much where it was in July.

Here are my goals for September!!

• Create my Mission Statement
• Get a good blogging habit formed
• Complete the September Photo Challenge!!

To anyone who has moved with pets, do you have any tips to share to help our dogs and cats adjust to living in a new place? I especially don't want to see any territory marking by any of the boys.

September Photo Challenge!!

I said I was going to have a photo challenge for September and here it is! Think of it as a countdown to a new beginning as we welcome a new season. (Picture version to come!)

September 1 - Where you are now
September 2 - Selfie
September 3 - Family
September 4 - Love
September 5 - Children (Fur or Otherwise)
September 6 - Nature
September 7 - Labor Day
September 8 - Nails
September 9 - Your latest project
September 10 - OOTD
September 11 - Patriot Day
September 12 - Your favorite color
September 13 - It's the little things
September 14 - Hobby
September 15 - Dream
September 16 - Pink!!
September 17 - Food
September 18 - FBF
September 19 - Your precious
September 20 - Stuffed animals
September 21 - Phone case
September 22 - Beverage
September 23 - Hello Fall!
September 24 - Your happy place
September 25 - Guilty pleasure
September 26 - National Pancake Day
September 27 - Birthday!
September 28 - MCM
September 29 - All Dolled UP!
September 30 - October is upon us!

October has some amazing things coming my way, and I can't wait to get there!!! But rushing through life makes it hard to stay content and find your happiness. Remember to live each day and be present for every moment of your life. This photo challenge is my reminder to myself to live for the present even while planning for the future and learning from the past. And on that note, game on!

I Have a Confession

I have a confession to make: I have never been to Disney World. I haven't been to Disneyland either, but since I'm living on the east coast now, I don't really have a good excuse for not going. What's worse is I even vacationed in Orlando not too long ago. We went to Universal Studios and SeaWorld, and some of my family members went to Disney World. Just not me.

But that's going to change here pretty soon. Husband and I are planning a trip for next October! I'm hoping it'll be cooler then and less busy with all the kids in school, but I am completely clueless about this. Which resort should we stay in? Which parks and rides are a must? What about the meal plans? I'm vegan so that might not be the best fit for us.

We originally planned for 7 days, but with going to Universal Studios, too (Husband has never been there), we might stretch it out to 9 so we can also have some downtime to go to the spas. I just need some input from those of you who have been! I know we have to go to Be Our Guest (Beauty and the Beast is our story), but other than that, the week is completely open! Please help! This planner doesn't know what to do, and if you guys remember my first post, then you know that doesn't work very well for me.

Help a sista' out! And definitely post pictures and tell stories from your adventures if you would like to share :)

Should Appearances Matter? A Tale of Piercings and Tattoos

Body modification is one of those things that I feel passionately about. I think it's an amazing way to make a statement, cherish a memory, or even just become more comfortable and confident in who you are and who you want to be. On the flip side of that, if it's not your thing, that's just fine, too. But that doesn't give you the right to judge or demean those of us who do like piercings and tattoos.

To the topic at hand, I actually wrote a paper on body modification and why it is slowly becoming the next body project for our society. In another generation or two, it's going to be incredibly commonplace for someone to have a non-ear lobe piercing or a visible tattoo.

Believe it or not, I actually have a tattoo on my neck. When I wear my hair down, no one ever sees it. I actually surprise people when I pull my hair up and then explain that I have piercings and another tattoo and plans for more in the future. I guess I don't fit the stereotype.
Now why does this matter? Honestly, it shouldn't. There shouldn't be a stigma, and we shouldn't care so much about what other people are doing with their bodies. But the good news is you shouldn't let the opinions of others sway you from getting what you want since you would be helping the movement, and it won't be viewed as negatively soon (relatively speaking, of course).

This is another one of those "be the change you want to see in the world" moments. Whether that means finally taking the plunge and getting addicted to the adrenaline rush known as new ink or by simply being open-minded to the appearances of others, let's work together to create a society of acceptance instead of one where we live according to our differences. There is no need to tear others down for being different. Let's all build everyone up instead and all achieve our hearts' desires.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? What is your opinion on ink in the workplace?

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Withdrawal from the Karma Bank

I don't think I actually told you all this, but I've been having some car troubles. In July, I fould out that I had a couple issues with my engine (one of which was caused by a crappy oil change, no need to get into that). Then there was a recall on my air bags. Two trips to the Honda dealership later, I got those fixed. But then it turns out that my seatbelt had an issue. Yet another trip to the shop. Oh, and to top it off, one tire had a slow leak. And now, not even three weeks later, my car won't start. It's either the starter or the alternator. Fingers crossed for the starter.

I don't say all of this to bring you down or ask for pity. This is a story of how you should treat people and how you should go through life. I live by the Karma Bank. The Karma Bank knows all, people. Because of this, I often "make deposits" into the Karma Bank by paying it forward. Help out in all the little ways that you can while you can. Be the helping hand for others. That way, when it comes time for you to need the help, there will be enough good karma in the bank for you to be able to make a withdrawal. 

Paying it forward to the Karma Bank goes hand-in-hand with needing to live life optimistically. Don't dwell on the things that go wrong. Count your blessings instead of your mistakes. We thought we had roadside assistance through our insurance. Turns out we didn't actually sign up for it. We have it now, but that doesn't help with the car that is already broken down. BUT I have friends who can help me out with getting to work until payday on Thursday when we can afford to get the car towed and fixed.

Focusing on how many times the car has needed to go to the shop or that we forgot to get the roadside assistance would really suck. Instead, I choose to focus on how fortunate we have been that most of the repairs were free (the airbags, seatbelt, and I had a flat tire). This is only the second fix I've had to pay for. That's some awesome Karma.

So what's the take-home message? Live life with a giver's heart. Be the light for others in their times of darkness. Stay positive when it's your turn to walk in the darkness, and know that your kindness won't be forgotten.

How do you usually handle stressful situations? What do you live by if not the Karma Bank?

How Romance Can Look

(this is one of the only pictures from the day we got married)

The rom-com genre is amazing at giving us stories filled with warm fuzzies and other moments so sweet you'll get cavities if you're not careful. But growing up, this was my all-time favorite genre of movies. My mom and I would make a habit of watching the latest and greatest book from Nicholas Sparks come to life, and I regularly rewatched my favorite 3 rom-coms anytime I was feeling down.

But then, I got married. When I finally got to live my love story in person instead of always dreaming about it through the lens of text messages and Skype calls, I fell in love with our definition of romance and turned my back on the sickly sweet nonsense that I used to crave. I realized how fake and impossible most of it would be in the real world and how no one has conversations like they do in the movies. 

Romance looks a little different for every individual (I'm still waiting for a real proposal where he uses the words "will you marry me?" and gets down on one knee). For the most part, it really is the little things, though. Love notes can be on post-its. Flowers and chocolates can translate into your favorite treats. Rose petals scattered all over the bathroom with candles lining the filled bathtub can mean your person did all the chores so you have time to spend on yourself. 

Whatever you value, that's romance for you. One day I'll have my corny proposal with a candy ring and all our fur children will be there. It'll be just us, and no one will have to know (but I'll tell you guys ;) ). And it'll be perfect because that's romance to me. But you know what's even more romantic than all of your best imaginings? Communication. If you never take the time to tell your person what you want and what you like, you're only hurting yourself. You have to ask for what you want. We aren't mind-readers, people.

What are some of your cutesy stories? How do you show love to your person? Have you taken the time to make sure you're on the same page?

"I Identify as a Bird. Where are My Wings?"

As many of you know, I am of a certain opinion about being transgender. While having a debate/argument about what it takes to be a woman, I was faced with the argument "I identify as a bird. Where are my wings?" Here is my hopefully not long-winded response.

Genetics Don't Equal Identity

I stumbled across a post explaining that you can't be a real woman if you haven't experienced periods, miscarriage, and/or childbirth. I find this argument to be degrading. So because I may or may not actually have children of my own, you're telling me I'm not a real woman? My value and worthiness is strictly tied to the status and abilities of my uterus? I think not. 

I would like to reiterate that gender is not necessarily determined by one's biological sex. This is to say that what your genetics have to say doesn't really have to tell you who you are allowed to be. In addition, biological sex isn't a binary to begin with. Intersex is a thing. But once again, it doesn't really matter what your genitalia qualifies as, your spirit is its own entity.

Your Body and Your Soul are Not a Single Entity

I heard it best explained while in attendance of a Mormon church: your body is like the glove for your soul. Your soul is who you are. Your protective encasement is not. It is possible for you to feel in conflict with your body. Body image struggles are not uncommon.

I believe everyone has the right to feel comfortable in your own skin no matter how you choose to personalize it. For instance, I am really into body modification (a post for another time). I crave outward expression of my love for family and sparkles. I choose to personalize my glove in this way to better suit my soul.

You are the Only One who has the Right to Choose Your Labels

No one should EVER be forced to live within the constraints of a box chosen without his/her consent and approval. Growing up I was labelled as the smart kid. The smart kid stereotype comes with several shackles I have since thrown off, but throughout my junior high-high school years I struggled with finding myself outside of that box. Not being allowed to explore and choose my own labels that I could resonate with was stunting to say the least. And your DNA, your own body, should be the last thing to make decisions for you with which you have no peace.

Transgender suicide rates are ridiculously disproportionate. I think it is because there is a mindset that says your labels decide who your soul is allowed to be instead of allowing our souls to choose our labels (or even choosing to go without).

This was a pretty roundabout way of saying that just because someone who was born with the XY chromosome pairing wants to identify as a woman and undergo surgeries to make her glove more comfortable for her soul doesn't mean she should be constrained by her genetics. None of us are.

So where are your wings? Changing species isn't within the realm of possible. Choosing to follow where your heart leads you and finding your happiness is. Choosing to be imperfectly, humanly you is. Choosing to simply acknowledge and be who you were born to be is.

I don't know about you, but my wings are going to be permanently inked into my skin, and one day I will fly around this world to experience all that life has to offer. There are more important things than trying to force any and everything into boxes and making the people who want to pick their own boxes feel like death is a better alternative. Live and let live.

Prank Wars

Last night I got stuck at work, so when I finally got home, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I got changed into my bedtime clothes, and then when I walked out of the bathroom, I walked right into my husband. He scared me so badly I jumped back, screamed a little, and very nearly dropped my phone. He pulled me into a bear hug immediately to calm me down, and we both started laughing hysterically. But you know what? This means war!!

Usually he doesn't read these so I feel pretty safe brainstorming prank ideas with you all. So far, I've got taping a picture to the underside of the toilet seat and putting a post it on his mouse blocking the laser or being mean and putting a "sorry about the dent" note on his car. We have dogs and cats and electronics on almost every surface so I don't want to do any particularly messy pranks, but he's scared me twice. Now it's my turn. MUAHAHAHA. Ahem, excuse the evil laugh :)

Anybody got some good prank ideas? Or maybe some stories of fun times with your loved ones?

My Husband isn't My World

Now before you riot about how your spouse needs to be your top priority and how you become one and all of that, let me explain. My husband isn't my world. I never claimed him to be such, and he never will be. But let me tell you this: my husband is my future.

When we committed to being together for the rest of forever, we didn't commit to give up our individuality and the unique bits about ourselves that we love so much. And we didn't commit to give up our families and friends either. We didn't commit to being the exact same person, and we definitely didn't commit to being each other's entire lives.

I don't know about you, but I really like food. And my fur babies. And my friends. I love the possibility of change (I know, I'm kind of weird about this one). And I love not needing to have my husband to do the things I want. I go to the nail salon by myself. I take myself out to do things he doesn't like to do. I don't revolve around him. I'm still my own person, and I expect the exact same thing from him. If there's something he wants to do that I don't like, he doesn't need my permission to go have fun without me.

But deep in my heart's truth, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's my person, and I have no intention of leaving the path that we walk along together. He's my future. All of our big plans involve each other and changes to it are made together. But I will never ask him to sacrifice who he is and live solely for me. I want him to have passions and hobbies that don't have to include me. I don't want to be codependent on him for all of my heart's desires. That is why my husband isn't my world and never will be.

What hobbies do you and your person like to do together? What do you like to do on your own time? What all encompasses your world?

On Elephants and Family

I saw this video on Facebook on Friday, and it hit me right in the feelings. It was a video showing how a mother elephant attacked her newborn baby elephant. They say that the mother may have tried to kill her son so that way he wouldn't have to live the same sad life that she has in the zoo, and that thought really resonated with me.

I am of the opinion that I do not want to purposefully have children. The thought ties me up in knots inside. This world is getting more and more dangerous (and stupid, thanks a lot my generation) with every passing year. I can't imagine what horrors will be commonplace by the time my child(ren) would be old enough to comprehend and participate in life outside our family and friends. It terrifies me.

So you know what? I feel for that momma elephant. Life is rough, and it's really hard to carve out a meaningful existence that doesn't feel like a waste of purpose and talent. I understand her thoughts of not wanting to purposefully put her beloved child through that.

But at the same time, I know I would have the exact opposite reaction that she had. I wouldn't abort my baby. I would go full-class sMother. That child would be suffocated with love and affection until the desire to practice independence kicks in. Those first two years of life will go by way faster than I could ever want. Those nine months of pregnancy where the baby is safe from the dangers of the world would be like the blink of an eye.

After the abuse, the video cuts to the baby crying inconsolably, tears staining his angel face. They say he cried for 5 hours. I don't blame him. I cried pretty hard, too. Babies are so precious, and all life matters. Everything in nature is a delicate balance. All things are fighting just to achieve homeostasis. And he had his entire world ripped away from him at Day 1.

Family is sacred, you guys. Cherish it. Whether it's the family you're born with or the family you choose, protect your people. Stand up for your people. Support your people. They, the people who love us, are what really matters and what makes this all worth it.


How do you like to show your people that you love them? What are some of your favorite bonding activities? How do you prepare your little ones to face the world?

My Deepest Apologies

I'm sorry! I hope you guys didn't miss me last week. Everything started happening all at once, and all my threads got tangled up and unravelled. But I'm straightening everything back out again, and can't wait to continue on this journey with you all!

My schedule at work got changed yet again, but expect my planner pics to be up on Instagram later this week! ;) (you see that? put a deadline to it so I'll actually be accomplishing this) That new job opportunity fell through while a new one opened up at my current work. I'm not excited yet, but my fire for direct sales has been rekindled.

When I start having themed days, those of you not interested in makeup will be able to avoid reading on those days just like those who don't want the DIY stuff can avoid those days! As my schedule returns to normal, I expect to be able to plan out more writings and get even more organized! BUT I want to try hosting a photo challenge for September to celebrate my anniversary!!

House news has been very positive. The house is so not built yet that I actually get to pick out everything, possibly including the siding as well! I get a somewhat custom house without having to actually build one for my first house :) The blessings are pretty immense on that front.

The animals are doing great. Husband has started seriously planning for life after the Marine Corps. The transition to civilian life is looking like it won't be overly stressful (it is still over a year away). Family drama is as it always will be: ever present but time zones away.

How was everyone's week last week? Any small goals being met? Any new goals to be set?

Why I'm Deleting TimeHop

Ever since I got TimeHop, I was checking it everyday to see what glimpses into the past I could find. Most days I was pretty disappointed. I have deleted my Facebook many times for a really long time, so there are months and months I didn't have a Facebook to be able to post anything. But summer is when I did the most posting, and I've had something to look back at almost everyday.

Enough! No more always looking back. It's time to start looking forward and making new memories instead of reminiscing on the old ones. It's time to live in the moment instead of staying trapped in the social media vortex that says, "Pics, or it didn't happen." I am allowed to live and have fun without having to document all my goings-on. We all are. Sharing is nice, but oversharing and living for social media is not (ironic I know coming from a blogger).

On the real though, life is as fleeting as a spring day. While we're in the storms, it's hard to see anything else, but as soon as the sky clears and the darkness fades into day, we have this glimpse of something beautiful. Then before you know it, it's gone, and we forgot to cherish it. It's so easy to forget to really live during the storms and instead be always waiting for the rainbows that slip right through your fingers. At least you can hold the rain from the storms, and use it to grow your garden of accomplishments and triumphs. You can use the hardship to write a better story and live a fuller, more meaningful life.

Life is nothing without opposites to teach us the value of every state of being. So yes, we do need the past to be able to appreciate the future. But that's it. Use it as a jumping off point. Don't stay trapped in a page from last year's chapter. Cultivate your garden, and keep writing your story! I know I can't wait to see what you will accomplish.

What is your crutch? Are you a lover of days gone by like me? What big plans do you have for when school starts up again?

July Goals '15

Update on how June went: we didn't actually close on a house yet haha. But we ended up picking a new construction that's not built yet so we have time. In addition, this means we probably won't be doing a lot of house makeover projects, probably just landscape/furniture projects instead.

My schedule got changed at work too many times to count so I wasn't very good about sharing and maintaining interaction, but now I have a set schedule (even if I get the other job my schedule will still be set just during opposite hours of the day) so I'm pretty hopeful about getting it all together. AND I plan on finally utilizing my planner!! Expect pics up on Instagram.

Also, Our First and Last Huzzah went pretty well :) except Husband gave away like all of the meat food so he had no leftover burgers to take to work like I was planning. But other than that, we're just trucking along trying to get everything together to move.

Now for the July goals: definitely utilize the planner and try to keep making progress in the house and blog interaction. I hope everyone has a safe and fun Fourth! I'll be working all night so have a little extra fun for me!

Speaking of, what are everyone's Fourth of July plans? Anyone got big plans for the rest of summer? What's new on your horizons?

Same-Sex Marriage is Finally Legal!!!

Woohoo!! Same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states! Not gonna lie, I definitely didn't think that would be happening anytime soon. I wasn't really even sure it would happen in my lifetime. Pleasantly surprised is an incredible understatement.

I know there is a lot of focus on the political ramifications, and there is some mud-slinging going on (President Obama's 2008 opinion on same-sex marriage anyone?). But I want to focus on the most important part of this: the people. There are so many lives that are impacted by this decision, but there is still a lot of fear. Similar to when suffrage was extended to the black community and people were too scared for their lives to risk voting, there is some discrimination and hatred being shown towards the LBGTQIA+ community choosing to get married, and that's a problem. It's going to take some time for this stigma to fade.

But enough with the heavy, now I want to take a moment to celebrate!! This is amazing. This country was founded on a desire for freedom to and from religion. There was no need to put a Christian skew on legal marriage. Separation of church and state and all that. Marriage isn't just a Christian thing. It's a people thing for those that desire to be married, and now anyone can enjoy the benefits of a marriage recognized by the government. Say hello to spousal benefits. In the end, love is love. Make love, not war. #marriageequality #loveconquersall

So You're Married, Now What?

Looking back on my posts, I realize I haven't written about marriage in a while so to help balance everything out, here's my thoughts on how to be in marriage :) Disclaimer: marriage is not for everyone (this goes back to my "we are not all cookie cutter people meant to live a cookie cutter life" statement so do you in whatever relationship you choose to have).

Communicate

Communication truly is the end all be all for healthy relationships of every variety. Setting and understanding boundaries and expectations, defining goals and dreams, and discussing life as it is now are all crucial to having a positive relationship experience. If you don't feel comfortable talking about a perceived wrongdoing, you won't be able to work past it and ensure that it doesn't happen again. Roger and I would have the biggest fights ever over the stupidest things when we first got married because we had different expectations from each other. Now we have fights over things that actually matter, and our fights are meaningful discussions that are productive instead of hurtful.

Be Kind

Just be nice. This one sounds the easiest, but it's really not. In the beginning of our marriage, we weren't kind to one another. We were mean and spiteful, and it wasn't helping anyone or anything. We have agreed to new rules of engagement and have a way of dealing with pains now that is nice. Don't take your person for granted, ever. For us, marriage is forever so we're stuck with each other no matter what happens, but that doesn't mean I ever let him think I'm not grateful for him or appreciative of what he does for me. I love compliments so I give a lot of compliments. I also love making sure that he knows he's loved.

Make Time for Each Other

We like to watch a movie or a show while we eat together so that we have a block of uninterrupted cuddle time. We'll also share funny videos and chit chat and what-have-you. We also have pretty regular dates. Now that I work nights and he works days, finding time isn't as easy so we have to make time for each other. You need quality one-on-one time to foster your relationship and check in with one another. We are actually going on a couples' retreat (the military has a lot of these and many are all-expenses paid and free) to get away from the responsibilities for a few days. This is a really valuable thing in your marriage. You need to take time to remember your fun, care-free selves and grow together and have new experiences. Don't stagnate. Try new things together.

These three things are really intertwined so you just need to be in a mindset of care and compassion, and they'll come naturally. As I've said before, you win and lose together so you might as well treat each other well so you don't lose. What helps keep the happiness in your marriage? Anyone have tips and tricks from years of marriage? What fun date night ideas do you have to share?

Body Image and Success

"You look so skinny! What are you doing?"
"The same thing as always, not much, and I haven't changed at all...."

This is a conversation I have regularly, and I'm tired of it. Being skinny isn't the ultimate goal in life. Being skinny isn't what it takes to be able to prove to the world that I've made it and am worth something. The magic number that appears on the scale does nothing for me whatsoever.

Body image is something each one of us has since we all have bodies. Some of us struggle and have self-confidence/self-esteem issues or mental disorders due to body image. Some of us are content with the body we were given. Some of us are constantly striving for growth. There are many different ways for the mind to interact with the body, some healthy and some not. And that's just it, we need to have a healthy relationship with our body to preserve our mind and achieve success in whatever form desired.

I don't really know what creates the different reactions people have to their bodies. I feel like personality and life experience sums up the process, but I don't know what specifically causes people to get sick of listening to society and simply care about being healthy instead of striving for a ridiculously unattainable beauty standard. And health is the most important part.

Our bodies are like gloves for our beings. Our being is our spirit, our soul, our energy. It's the ephemeral part of us that drives us. Our bodies are just the physical shell that keeps us safe throughout our journey in this world. We need to take care of gloves, not obsess and stress and poke and prod and damage them. Yes, we only get one glove so you might as well make it what you want it to be, but make it something that's in line with your being, not an arbitrarily defined image that will never be one-size-fits-all.

Ultimately, we lose a lot of time fretting over our bodies, time we could be using to do something we truly care about. I think makeup is fun so for me, taking the time to make up my face and hair is a blast. That's not the same for everyone. Spend your time doing things you actually like and find enjoyable whether that's doing Zumba or reading a book or getting in extra cuddles with your kiddos. Whatever it is that defines success for you, work towards that instead of getting caught up in society's definition of success. Because once again, we're not all cookie cutter people meant to live cookie cutter lives.

Is body image something with which you have/had a struggle? How do you define success? What are you working towards at this moment in your life?

Hi, My Name Is Anubis

We have another addition to the family!!! His name is Anubis :) What's especially funny about this name is since Alma was originally thought to be a boy, it was supposed to be her name. But she's a girl so Anubis got passed on to this little sweetie pie.

I went to the pet store to get some more dog food when I heard the saddest mewing. I turned around and there was this little guy reaching out for me and climbing up his cage to get closer to me. I left with the dog food I came for, but a couple hours later I returned with Alma and my husband to have a meet and greet. And Anubis came home with us, too :)

We're well on our way now to completing our family! So far, Aura has decided she's the mom (again), and Achilles plays too roughly per usual. Alma has no idea what she thinks about Anubis so they've been keeping their distance aside from conversations across the couch. 

But back to little Anubis. He's our April Fool's baby which puts him at 10 1/2 weeks old, about four months younger than Alma and almost a year younger than Achilles. He's definitely a cuddler. And he's LOUD. But that's okay :) He's going to fit in just fine, I'm sure

Moving On Up in Life

We have finally picked a house!!! It's a gorgeous new construction in a good neighborhood close to base. Three bed, two bath, huge kitchen, living room with a fireplace, two car garage. AND it comes with free money. Say hello to finally owning furniture! And having a backyard for the dogs.

There will be tons of pictures once we actually move in (it's not built yet and won't be until September), and expect to see some before and after's! Which also means this blog will be morphing to include some home and garden stuff once we finally get to that point of life. I'll try to theme my days so that way you'll know what to expect on what day ;)

I am incredibly excited. We're well on our way to owning two cars and a house (we already own one car). We've accomplished quite a lot in our 2 decades of life :) And no, we don't have college degrees. Just a lot of determination and each other. It's amazing what you can do with a dream, desire, and a couple lucky breaks. I can't wait to see what our life looks like when I make it to the big 2-1.

What are your goals and dreams? What are you excited about achieving?

What's Up With Female Nipples?

There are two movements going on that I'd like to discuss today: breastfeeding in public and "Free the Nipple." Now in my mind, these two are one in the same and really all just segments of an even bigger movement. FREETHENIPPLE on Instagram has some incredibly poignant pictures and quotes regarding the Women's Rights Movement, and nearly all of the pictures on this post you can find there. I am not advertising for the movie (I haven't even seen the movie), but I would like to say I am advocating for something that is near and dear to me: women.

What's the inherent issue with breastfeeding in public? Indecency, exposure, corrupting youth with "pornographic" visuals. Because feeding a hungry child is indecent. Because nipples are always sexual. I don't see anyone throwing shade at men's nipples. What about if you're transgender? Are those nipples then male or female? Does it really even matter?

Going off the idea that the sexualization of the nipple is why breastfeeding in public is bad, that in my mind shows the link between Free the Nipple and breastfeeding. Sexualization of a part of the body that doesn't have to be is what's causing the problem. Butts are everywhere because they don't have to be sexualized. They can be if the situation calls for it, but you can plaster those things all over Facebook without any issues. But if you dare to put a FEMALE nipple up? You've called down the wrath of the Facebook police. How ridiculous and sexist is that?

 Women are taught to be ashamed of our bodies from day one. Dress codes that only apply to girls anyone? Or only certain girls? For example, I wore shorts to work one day. I was asked to go home because my shorts were too short. Next day, several other girls are wearing shorts, some shorter than mine were. No one was asked to go home. Why should I have been punished? It gets hot. Sorry I didn't feel like shaving that day. Or maybe my legs were too white. I don't know.

Men's nipples were actually still considered shameful until about 80 years ago. Men, whose nipples don't feed children, can be out in the open, but we can't flash a nip whether for feeding or because we're at the beach. Why are we still stuck in the 20th century with female nipples?

Let's get some equality going on for us. Let's all be people instead of just our genitalia. Let's all be worthwhile and respected simply because we are living organisms. Let's be just as safe as the next person because we're all people. Let's get the women's rights movement going strong again instead of continuing to stagnate.

What's your opinion on "Free the Nipple"? What's your opinion on breastfeeding in public? What do you think it will take to finally get true and complete equality across the gender spectrum?