Maiden to Mother and Society's Erasure of that Journey

Quick disclaimer. This post is geared towards ciswomen who have gone through pregnancy and childbirth, but the importance of progressing through the natural phases of life and fully accepting each stage of your path is integral for all people in order to have a healthy psyche.

One of my favorite deities is the Triple Goddess. As a woman, I have recognized my personal connection with the moon and its importance in my life which is a big reason for why the Triple Goddess resonates so strongly with me. All of life is cyclical while simultaneously being linear for us as individuals. But let me back up and unpack exactly what I'm trying to say as well as explain how I see Society forcing the natural flow into hiding.

In Neopaganism, the Triple Goddess is symbolized as the moon waxing, full, and waning. This relates to the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone (in my opinion, poorly named and offputting, but still a very important role I hope to one day fulfill). The Maiden represents new beginnings, youthful wonderment, enthusiasm. The Mother represents sexuality, achievement, the fullness of life. The Crone represents wisdom, peaceful acceptance, endings. Each of us embodies our own Triple Goddess journey whether literally or figuratively.

We all know the circle of life. We're born, gain some education, have life experiences, work, grow old, try to pass on our wisdom, hope we made a difference, and die. But as we are each living, we have a beginning and an end. Our individual lives have a linear path. Society, however, clings to just one part of life: possibilities. Endless possibilities are embodied by youth. Society has created a whole market around erasing our aging, our linear path.

Society has attached such shame and stigma to women who "look" like they have had children. Stretch marks, loose skin, extra weight, less time spent on appearance.  Those are the markings of a "failed woman." We're supposed to lose our ignorance while maintaining our innocence. But really, who wants to look like they don't know what they're doing? Who wants to be mistaken for a Fool when really you're a High Priestess? I know I don't. I have carried life within my body. I have felt that life grow and have new experiences while inside me. I am the vessel through which she was able to enter into our plane of existence. I have grown and am proud of my trek. Why should I be ashamed to wear the proof of that plainly on my skin?

Just as the moon has this course it has to take, so do we. We can't skip the waxing crescent to jump straight to the full moon just as we cannot skip or erase the changes we go through to get from Maiden to Crone. Each phase of life needs to be accepted as it is and its lessons learned if we want to have the wisdom of the Crone. That's why no one should feel stressed about their transition from Maiden to Mother. Don't let Society erase the ravages of time; they just want to sell more product. ;)

What's holding you back from being fully present where you're at? Is there anything about your story that makes you feel less than? What is your favorite part of your journey so far?

Should Appearances Matter? A Tale of Piercings and Tattoos

Body modification is one of those things that I feel passionately about. I think it's an amazing way to make a statement, cherish a memory, or even just become more comfortable and confident in who you are and who you want to be. On the flip side of that, if it's not your thing, that's just fine, too. But that doesn't give you the right to judge or demean those of us who do like piercings and tattoos.

To the topic at hand, I actually wrote a paper on body modification and why it is slowly becoming the next body project for our society. In another generation or two, it's going to be incredibly commonplace for someone to have a non-ear lobe piercing or a visible tattoo.

Believe it or not, I actually have a tattoo on my neck. When I wear my hair down, no one ever sees it. I actually surprise people when I pull my hair up and then explain that I have piercings and another tattoo and plans for more in the future. I guess I don't fit the stereotype.
Now why does this matter? Honestly, it shouldn't. There shouldn't be a stigma, and we shouldn't care so much about what other people are doing with their bodies. But the good news is you shouldn't let the opinions of others sway you from getting what you want since you would be helping the movement, and it won't be viewed as negatively soon (relatively speaking, of course).

This is another one of those "be the change you want to see in the world" moments. Whether that means finally taking the plunge and getting addicted to the adrenaline rush known as new ink or by simply being open-minded to the appearances of others, let's work together to create a society of acceptance instead of one where we live according to our differences. There is no need to tear others down for being different. Let's all build everyone up instead and all achieve our hearts' desires.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? What is your opinion on ink in the workplace?

What's Up With Female Nipples?

There are two movements going on that I'd like to discuss today: breastfeeding in public and "Free the Nipple." Now in my mind, these two are one in the same and really all just segments of an even bigger movement. FREETHENIPPLE on Instagram has some incredibly poignant pictures and quotes regarding the Women's Rights Movement, and nearly all of the pictures on this post you can find there. I am not advertising for the movie (I haven't even seen the movie), but I would like to say I am advocating for something that is near and dear to me: women.

What's the inherent issue with breastfeeding in public? Indecency, exposure, corrupting youth with "pornographic" visuals. Because feeding a hungry child is indecent. Because nipples are always sexual. I don't see anyone throwing shade at men's nipples. What about if you're transgender? Are those nipples then male or female? Does it really even matter?

Going off the idea that the sexualization of the nipple is why breastfeeding in public is bad, that in my mind shows the link between Free the Nipple and breastfeeding. Sexualization of a part of the body that doesn't have to be is what's causing the problem. Butts are everywhere because they don't have to be sexualized. They can be if the situation calls for it, but you can plaster those things all over Facebook without any issues. But if you dare to put a FEMALE nipple up? You've called down the wrath of the Facebook police. How ridiculous and sexist is that?

 Women are taught to be ashamed of our bodies from day one. Dress codes that only apply to girls anyone? Or only certain girls? For example, I wore shorts to work one day. I was asked to go home because my shorts were too short. Next day, several other girls are wearing shorts, some shorter than mine were. No one was asked to go home. Why should I have been punished? It gets hot. Sorry I didn't feel like shaving that day. Or maybe my legs were too white. I don't know.

Men's nipples were actually still considered shameful until about 80 years ago. Men, whose nipples don't feed children, can be out in the open, but we can't flash a nip whether for feeding or because we're at the beach. Why are we still stuck in the 20th century with female nipples?

Let's get some equality going on for us. Let's all be people instead of just our genitalia. Let's all be worthwhile and respected simply because we are living organisms. Let's be just as safe as the next person because we're all people. Let's get the women's rights movement going strong again instead of continuing to stagnate.

What's your opinion on "Free the Nipple"? What's your opinion on breastfeeding in public? What do you think it will take to finally get true and complete equality across the gender spectrum?

On Caitlyn Jenner and Society

Here we go. The post to start the storm. I'm going to really try to stay unemotional through this, but I'm an empath. Me being unemotional is a huge joke. This is just one of those things that I feel very deeply for (well, really, it's just a part of the one thing I feel very deeply for: life of sentient beings). Just to outline what's going down in this post and to give you a heads up to run away if you'd like, my discussion - and I do mean DISCUSSION - for today will cover transgender as a "mental disorder," transgender and religion, and a blurb of my and some others' opinions on the whole thing.

Transgender as a "Mental Disorder"

I can't remember now where I saw it, but there was an argument claiming that transgender is a mental disorder and not a real state of being on the gender scale. P.S. it's not a gender binary with only two choices and that's it. But anywho, I am not a psychologist/neuropsychologist/or any type of scientist to dispute whether that is or isn't the case. Instead, let's pretend that it is in fact a mental disorder (I in no way believe it is, but for the sake of the point I'm wanting to make, let's pretend).

For a year and a half, I worked at a crisis hotline where I listened to people tell me about how torn up they were by their depression or sexual identity crises or scizophrenic episodes. There are support groups and counselors and some acceptance for these issues. Where is that for the transgender people? No where. It's immensely stigmatized and shoved deep into the closet to hide with the skeletons instead.

So many suicides have happened that we have finally realized the value of adding happiness and hope in life to those who are struggling with depression or anxiety or whatever other mental disorders. How many more transgender suicides have to happen before we'll see the value of adding happiness and hope in their lives as well? Better question, why does it matter who is committing suicide? Why can't we add happiness and hope to all life?

Transgender and Religion

If your argument for why Caitlyn Jenner is disgusting rests solely in your Christian beliefs, then please break it down for me advanced Barney style because I don't get it. She's a person. Love thy neighbor and all that. And don't be disrespectful by purposefully using the opposite gender pronouns from what she has asked to be used.

Now how about how we're all perfectly and wonderfully made in His image? You can't tell me God isn't some kind of intersex person with the entire range of gender. Who is to say that a transgender person is a mistake? God has to have in his possession both male and female everything if we are all to have been made in His image.

Now I'm sure there is also going to be some sexual identity arguments thrown in here though they are separate things and I'd rather focus on the gender identity part. But let's go ahead and humor the sexual arguments. Where in the New Testament does God say that homosexual marriage is wrong? He talks a lot about how you shouldn't lie with a man like with a woman out of lust and thinking that won't count as an affair. There was a great YouTube video over this, and I wish I could find it again to post it here.

Now Back to Caitlyn Jenner

Do I think Caitlyn Jenner making the transition should be this big of a deal? No. But that's because I think it shouldn't matter what other people are doing with their lives if it is in no way infringing upon the rights and personal safety of another. So she got a surgery to be happier with life and more comfortable in her own skin. She wouldn't be the first person to do that. Breast implants or lap bands anyone?

As for all the shade thrown at Drake Bell and everyone screaming bloody murder because Caitlyn isn't a war hero, why can't all of that be separate? Why do we have to measure and weigh each instance against each other? Caitlyn Jenner got a surgery and is now a pretty strong face for the transgender community. Drake Bell is now getting death threats because of a transphobic comment; it shouldn't matter why or what he did, it shouldn't be happening. Our military is amazing. I'm married to a Marine for crying out loud. But an occupation is a separate thing entirely from gender identity. Tying this back to religion, aren't all "sins" equal and none are greater than another? Why then are different aspects of life getting compared like apples to coffee tables?

Here is some great additional reading that I am absolutely in love with. My main opinion over this controversy is it shouldn't take a celebrity to make something real. We should just care about all people no matter what simply because they are people. But Jon Stewart hit the nail right on the head with how Caitlyn is now getting treated and helps to bring up an amazing point about misogyny. "It's really heartening to see that everyone is willing to not only accept Caitlyn Jenner as a woman, but to waste no time in treating her like a woman." - Jon. Hello objectification and only being worth your appearance.

And lastly, here is a great video from a girl I used to be much closer to. Kait has some great points about transphobia, and I love how far she has come in her own personal journey as a bisexual woman.

Hateful comments will be deleted. If you can't have a mature discussion, please don't comment. We're all adults and should be able to enunciate our points with a logical reason to back up what we're saying instead of just slinging stinky opinions. If you have any questions about where exactly I stand on any issue, just ask. I'll tell you. This blog post obviously could have gone on for quite a bit longer so if it feels like anything is missing or lacking clarification, let me know, and I'll fill in the gaps. AND if you like what you see and want to see some more from fellow feminist bloggers on the web, check out this awesome linkup!!!