Sharing Your Body With Strangers

Let's talk about fertility. The CDC's website is showing that 12.1% of women in the U.S. are infertile, and 12% of women have used fertility services. That's more than 1 in 10 women and doesn't include the male half of the population. More than likely, you know someone who has had to use fertility services or adoption in order to have the family of which they've always dreamed. So with this many people needing to take advantage of "non-traditional" means of family making, why are some of the options considered taboo? Specifically, I'm talking about donated eggs and surrogacy.

At the end of this week, my baby is going to be 2 months old. That means I have spent a lot of time feeding her and helping her sleep, i.e. I binge watch a LOT of shows (yay sitting around unable to use my hands XD). Thanks to that, I noticed that there are some varying opinions on egg donation and surrogacy in pop culture. 90210 paints egg donation in a negative light. Pretty Little Liars has its character shamefully hiding the fact that she donated her eggs and then used those eggs as part of a devastating plot twist. Glee did have a positive spin on surrogacy so that was a nice change of pace. But still, what is so bad about giving of yourself to help others achieve a family in the manner they desire/require?

I don't understand it. Men donating sperm isn't taboo. The only thing I can think of for why someone could have an issue with egg/uterus donation is because of the more invasive and involved nature of those procedures as opposed to the donation of sperm, but even if that is the problem, if someone is fully willing to undergo such procedures, it should be celebrated!

I was unable to donate my eggs due to genetic health issues, but I have every intention of becoming a surrogate when we're done having babies of our own. So tell me, what is your take on sharing your body with strangers? Would you do it? Would you be okay with your friend/family/significant other doing it? Why or why not?

Maiden to Mother and Society's Erasure of that Journey

Quick disclaimer. This post is geared towards ciswomen who have gone through pregnancy and childbirth, but the importance of progressing through the natural phases of life and fully accepting each stage of your path is integral for all people in order to have a healthy psyche.

One of my favorite deities is the Triple Goddess. As a woman, I have recognized my personal connection with the moon and its importance in my life which is a big reason for why the Triple Goddess resonates so strongly with me. All of life is cyclical while simultaneously being linear for us as individuals. But let me back up and unpack exactly what I'm trying to say as well as explain how I see Society forcing the natural flow into hiding.

In Neopaganism, the Triple Goddess is symbolized as the moon waxing, full, and waning. This relates to the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone (in my opinion, poorly named and offputting, but still a very important role I hope to one day fulfill). The Maiden represents new beginnings, youthful wonderment, enthusiasm. The Mother represents sexuality, achievement, the fullness of life. The Crone represents wisdom, peaceful acceptance, endings. Each of us embodies our own Triple Goddess journey whether literally or figuratively.

We all know the circle of life. We're born, gain some education, have life experiences, work, grow old, try to pass on our wisdom, hope we made a difference, and die. But as we are each living, we have a beginning and an end. Our individual lives have a linear path. Society, however, clings to just one part of life: possibilities. Endless possibilities are embodied by youth. Society has created a whole market around erasing our aging, our linear path.

Society has attached such shame and stigma to women who "look" like they have had children. Stretch marks, loose skin, extra weight, less time spent on appearance.  Those are the markings of a "failed woman." We're supposed to lose our ignorance while maintaining our innocence. But really, who wants to look like they don't know what they're doing? Who wants to be mistaken for a Fool when really you're a High Priestess? I know I don't. I have carried life within my body. I have felt that life grow and have new experiences while inside me. I am the vessel through which she was able to enter into our plane of existence. I have grown and am proud of my trek. Why should I be ashamed to wear the proof of that plainly on my skin?

Just as the moon has this course it has to take, so do we. We can't skip the waxing crescent to jump straight to the full moon just as we cannot skip or erase the changes we go through to get from Maiden to Crone. Each phase of life needs to be accepted as it is and its lessons learned if we want to have the wisdom of the Crone. That's why no one should feel stressed about their transition from Maiden to Mother. Don't let Society erase the ravages of time; they just want to sell more product. ;)

What's holding you back from being fully present where you're at? Is there anything about your story that makes you feel less than? What is your favorite part of your journey so far?

Why Home Birth?

Photo creds again to Sarah Wiseman Photography. Love her!!

As many of you are aware if you follow this blog, I am quite the flower child so it probably wasn't overly surprising to you all that I would want to try birthing my baby at home. But what led me to that decision? I'm not going to lie to you, I have pretty well done a 180 in my life when it comes to health. My parents were both in the medical field; my dad still is. My husband's father is, too. So both of us grew up fully believing in the wonders of all that modern medicine has to offer, but now I am on a much more holistic path.

Keep in mind, no matter how many stories you hear and how much research you do, all families are different. What works for me and us could be completely unfeasible for you in your situation. 

Before I got married, I couldn't imagine not giving birth in a hospital on my back with an epidural and all the monitors. As I grew more into myself and started questioning everything, birth was just one more thing I wanted to be able to do my way (The Business of Being Born anyone?). One of the biggest triggers for my depression is feeling out of control so it is extremely important to me to have a say in what is going to happen when I am in such a vulnerable state. Being at home is the easiest way to accomplish that.

Hospitals have the best of intentions. All their policies are in place to ensure that any emergency situation can be handled efficiently, but to me, that feels more like being put through a checklist. We are all so different, and each pregnancy and birth will be different even with the same parents. It is so important to me to be able to labor in my own way at my own pace instead of being rushed and interrupted and checked frequently. Additionally, if birth really was as mortal as we are led to believe, would we really have managed to almost overpopulate the planet? I think not! Birth is a natural biological process, not a medical emergency. Don't get me wrong, if this was not a low-risk pregnancy, I would have birthed in a hospital. But the odds were in our favor!

Here is a quick list of the things that I LOVED about birthing at home:

• Not having to worry about my dogs and cats
• Introducing the baby to the dogs was seemless
• Having the freedom to walk and move around as I please
• Being able to pee when I please
• No needles and other hindering contraptions connected to me
• Having the option to eat and drink as much as I feel comfortable (even though it was none)
• Not having to wait for the hospital to bring food on their schedule and worry about if it was vegan
• Not having to pack a bag for the hospital
• Not having to birth on my back
• Not being asked multiple times about getting an epidural or other pain relief
• Not having to fight to keep my placenta
• Being in my own home with my own bed and shower
• Not feeling rushed or questioned or like I have to argue about the post-birth measures I would like to take
• Being able to labor and birth in water
• Being able to fully trust in my body to be able to go through this natural process and truly be in the moment through the entire experience

Have any of you birthed not in a traditional hospital setting? What scares you the most about birthing at home? Do you have any questions for me?

Watch Us Grow: Elisandra's Chapter

Some of these are for length, and some of these are for weight so keep that in mind when we go from a melon to a leek!

Small Pea

Raspberry

Green Olive

Prune

Lime

Plum

Peach

Lemon

Navel Orange

Avocado

Onion

Sweet Potato

Heirloom Tomato

Small Cantaloupe

Banana

Spaghetti Squash

Large Mango

Corn

Rutabaga

Hothouse Cucumber

Cauliflower

Chinese Cabbage

Butternut Squash

Cabbage

Asparagus

Large Jicama

Cantaloupe

Pineapple

Crenshaw Melon

Honeydew Melon

Swiss Chard

Leek

Mini Watermelon

40 weeks! 7 pounds, 20 inches

What I Eat In A Day (Vegan Pregnancy Edition)

I'm sure everyone is wondering one of those age old questions we vegans get frequently, "But where do you get your protein??" And in answer, pre-pregnancy, that wasn't a concern at all. My midwife told me that pregnant women need 75-100 grams of protein everyday, though, and no lie, that was scary to me. The high end of that is almost double my normal protein intake. Luckily, she said getting 75 grams a day is fine, so that has been my goal. I have since taken a week to track my protein intake, and it actually hasn't been as daunting as I thought it would be!

I tracked from January 18-25, and my numbers were 85g, 75g, 91.5g, 83g, 77g, 77g, 75g, and 98g. So I'm averaging about 82.5 grams a day. On to a million food pics to explain how I did it!

Breakfast
For breakfast, I usually have this smoothie: one cup of soy milk (8g), one banana (1g), two tablespoons of peanut butter (7g), sevenish frozen strawberries (0g), and one scoop of protein powder (20g). Sometimes I'll also add in flax or chia seeds which can add another 3-5g, but normally, this smoothie has me at 36g of protein! If I want a hot breakfast instead, I'll do oatmeal: 3/4 a cup of oats (7g), a cup of soy milk (8g), two tablespoons of peanut butter (7g), two tablespoons of whole flax seed (4g), and two tablespoons of chocolate chips (2g). Plus a banana which has 1g. That gives me 29g. One thing to look out for if you are going to be using a protein powder is if you are also taking a prenatal vitamin, you need to pick a protein with very little vitamin A. You don't want to get too much as it causes birth defects.

36g

29g

Yay, no vitamin A!

I've tried chocolate and vanilla. They're both fantastic.

 Lunch/Dinner
I pretty much do the same types of meals for lunch and dinner. Almost always I have a home cooked meal/leftovers for one and then a fake meat meal for the other. I didn't really crave fake meats much pre-pregnancy, but I have definitely been craving them a lot now which is what really helps me meet my protein goals. If you follow me on Instagram, these may look familiar. For the nachos: chips (8g), Minimalist Baker's queso (7g), black beans (10g), sauteed green bell peppers and red onions (2g), guacamole (.5g), and salsa (1.5g). For eggplant marinara: pasta (16g), marinara sauce (4g), beefy crumbles (13g), eggplant (1g), and green beans (1g). For cheesy pasta: pasta (16g), soy milk (2g), and nooch (8g). I have also made this pasta with Gardein chick'n strips which would add another 14g. I love the Boca burgers. I eat two at a time. My favorite way to eat them is with Just Mayo, ketchup, mustard (I know, I love condiments), spinach, bread and butter pickles, tomatoes, red onion, and avocado. For the burgers: patties (26g), buns (8g), and all the toppings (2g). Lastly, something I love to get as a treat is those Gardein pizza pockets. I eat two at a time so it's not the cheapest, but they are so delicious! Only 18g of protein for two, though.

30g

35g

26g

14g

18g

36g

Snacks
When it comes to snacking, I didn't really start being hungry enough to snack until this week. I really love sweets. It's kind of a problem. But I try to limit all my fruit intake to breakfast since I'm only supposed to be having 1-2 servings of fruit through this pregnancy. Instead, I try to make different snacks like cinnamon toast (6g), or I'll eat a bagel (8g) or bowl of cereal: two cups of cereal (12g), one cup of soy milk (8g). For the cinnamon toast and the bagel, if I know I've had a low protein day, I'll beef them up a little by adding peanut butter which adds 7g making them 13g and 15g respectively. Occasionally, I'll snack on chips and salsa (5g) or hummus and crackers/veggies (5-8g). (Neither of those are pictured)

6g as pictured

8g as pictured

20g

And that's that! Some days I do better than others, but so long as I'm averaging where I need to be, I'm not worried. What are your favorite go-to snacks? Any one else tackled a tricky diet through pregnancy? Any other vegans out there got some yummy recommendations?