Watch Us Grow: Elisandra's Chapter

Some of these are for length, and some of these are for weight so keep that in mind when we go from a melon to a leek!

Small Pea

Raspberry

Green Olive

Prune

Lime

Plum

Peach

Lemon

Navel Orange

Avocado

Onion

Sweet Potato

Heirloom Tomato

Small Cantaloupe

Banana

Spaghetti Squash

Large Mango

Corn

Rutabaga

Hothouse Cucumber

Cauliflower

Chinese Cabbage

Butternut Squash

Cabbage

Asparagus

Large Jicama

Cantaloupe

Pineapple

Crenshaw Melon

Honeydew Melon

Swiss Chard

Leek

Mini Watermelon

40 weeks! 7 pounds, 20 inches

What is Marriage Really?

Something that has been coming up a lot lately in my life is marriage so I figure why not just write another post about it! One thing I have noticed a lot in my 20 years is that as the weather gets cooler, people do start to think about settling down or taking another step closer in their relationships. My guess is the holidays remind us of the importance of our loved ones, and it's too cold to really go out (I really don't like the cold XD).

Let's talk some marriage, shall we? My opinion on marriage as something that isn't for everyone still stands, but let's back up. The reasoning behind marriage has varied a lot throughout history: trading daughters for profit, marrying off daughters to build social standing, religious reasons, love, contractual arrangements. Even today there are many different reasons.

If we're completely honest, marriage is nothing more than a legal document. Because of that, marriage in the sense that we have come to know it needs to be recognized as a legal step more than anything else. In today's world, couples can live together as a cohesive family unit without the paperwork so it really isn't necessary to take that legal step unless it is something that you are wanting.

Binding yourself to one person mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and legally is definitely a big step, and it takes a lot of time to undo each piece of a bond like that. I'll let you all in on a secret: if I wasn't legally married to Roger, I probably would have left. But thanks to the amount of effort it would've taken to undo everything, I decided it was less effort to give us another chance. Being married literally saved my marriage because now, after all the growing and nonsense we've gone through together, our marriage is unshakable and worth more to me than anything else I could have on this Earth.

As I keep reiterating, we're all different. Legal marriage was one of those things that I always wanted out of life, but really it is just some paperwork and benefits you don't have to have. Maybe for you and your relationship, paperwork isn't what fits best. But maybe a legal union is all you want without some of the other aspects (spiritual, physical, etc.). Moral of this story, know what exactly it is that you're wanting and why so you can make an informed decision.

What is your opinion on getting the marriage license and whole shebang as opposed to someone with a common-law marriage? Or maybe just shacking up or someone married to disguise their sexuality?

How Romance Can Look

(this is one of the only pictures from the day we got married)

The rom-com genre is amazing at giving us stories filled with warm fuzzies and other moments so sweet you'll get cavities if you're not careful. But growing up, this was my all-time favorite genre of movies. My mom and I would make a habit of watching the latest and greatest book from Nicholas Sparks come to life, and I regularly rewatched my favorite 3 rom-coms anytime I was feeling down.

But then, I got married. When I finally got to live my love story in person instead of always dreaming about it through the lens of text messages and Skype calls, I fell in love with our definition of romance and turned my back on the sickly sweet nonsense that I used to crave. I realized how fake and impossible most of it would be in the real world and how no one has conversations like they do in the movies. 

Romance looks a little different for every individual (I'm still waiting for a real proposal where he uses the words "will you marry me?" and gets down on one knee). For the most part, it really is the little things, though. Love notes can be on post-its. Flowers and chocolates can translate into your favorite treats. Rose petals scattered all over the bathroom with candles lining the filled bathtub can mean your person did all the chores so you have time to spend on yourself. 

Whatever you value, that's romance for you. One day I'll have my corny proposal with a candy ring and all our fur children will be there. It'll be just us, and no one will have to know (but I'll tell you guys ;) ). And it'll be perfect because that's romance to me. But you know what's even more romantic than all of your best imaginings? Communication. If you never take the time to tell your person what you want and what you like, you're only hurting yourself. You have to ask for what you want. We aren't mind-readers, people.

What are some of your cutesy stories? How do you show love to your person? Have you taken the time to make sure you're on the same page?

Prank Wars

Last night I got stuck at work, so when I finally got home, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I got changed into my bedtime clothes, and then when I walked out of the bathroom, I walked right into my husband. He scared me so badly I jumped back, screamed a little, and very nearly dropped my phone. He pulled me into a bear hug immediately to calm me down, and we both started laughing hysterically. But you know what? This means war!!

Usually he doesn't read these so I feel pretty safe brainstorming prank ideas with you all. So far, I've got taping a picture to the underside of the toilet seat and putting a post it on his mouse blocking the laser or being mean and putting a "sorry about the dent" note on his car. We have dogs and cats and electronics on almost every surface so I don't want to do any particularly messy pranks, but he's scared me twice. Now it's my turn. MUAHAHAHA. Ahem, excuse the evil laugh :)

Anybody got some good prank ideas? Or maybe some stories of fun times with your loved ones?

My Husband isn't My World

Now before you riot about how your spouse needs to be your top priority and how you become one and all of that, let me explain. My husband isn't my world. I never claimed him to be such, and he never will be. But let me tell you this: my husband is my future.

When we committed to being together for the rest of forever, we didn't commit to give up our individuality and the unique bits about ourselves that we love so much. And we didn't commit to give up our families and friends either. We didn't commit to being the exact same person, and we definitely didn't commit to being each other's entire lives.

I don't know about you, but I really like food. And my fur babies. And my friends. I love the possibility of change (I know, I'm kind of weird about this one). And I love not needing to have my husband to do the things I want. I go to the nail salon by myself. I take myself out to do things he doesn't like to do. I don't revolve around him. I'm still my own person, and I expect the exact same thing from him. If there's something he wants to do that I don't like, he doesn't need my permission to go have fun without me.

But deep in my heart's truth, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's my person, and I have no intention of leaving the path that we walk along together. He's my future. All of our big plans involve each other and changes to it are made together. But I will never ask him to sacrifice who he is and live solely for me. I want him to have passions and hobbies that don't have to include me. I don't want to be codependent on him for all of my heart's desires. That is why my husband isn't my world and never will be.

What hobbies do you and your person like to do together? What do you like to do on your own time? What all encompasses your world?

On Elephants and Family

I saw this video on Facebook on Friday, and it hit me right in the feelings. It was a video showing how a mother elephant attacked her newborn baby elephant. They say that the mother may have tried to kill her son so that way he wouldn't have to live the same sad life that she has in the zoo, and that thought really resonated with me.

I am of the opinion that I do not want to purposefully have children. The thought ties me up in knots inside. This world is getting more and more dangerous (and stupid, thanks a lot my generation) with every passing year. I can't imagine what horrors will be commonplace by the time my child(ren) would be old enough to comprehend and participate in life outside our family and friends. It terrifies me.

So you know what? I feel for that momma elephant. Life is rough, and it's really hard to carve out a meaningful existence that doesn't feel like a waste of purpose and talent. I understand her thoughts of not wanting to purposefully put her beloved child through that.

But at the same time, I know I would have the exact opposite reaction that she had. I wouldn't abort my baby. I would go full-class sMother. That child would be suffocated with love and affection until the desire to practice independence kicks in. Those first two years of life will go by way faster than I could ever want. Those nine months of pregnancy where the baby is safe from the dangers of the world would be like the blink of an eye.

After the abuse, the video cuts to the baby crying inconsolably, tears staining his angel face. They say he cried for 5 hours. I don't blame him. I cried pretty hard, too. Babies are so precious, and all life matters. Everything in nature is a delicate balance. All things are fighting just to achieve homeostasis. And he had his entire world ripped away from him at Day 1.

Family is sacred, you guys. Cherish it. Whether it's the family you're born with or the family you choose, protect your people. Stand up for your people. Support your people. They, the people who love us, are what really matters and what makes this all worth it.


How do you like to show your people that you love them? What are some of your favorite bonding activities? How do you prepare your little ones to face the world?

Same-Sex Marriage is Finally Legal!!!

Woohoo!! Same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states! Not gonna lie, I definitely didn't think that would be happening anytime soon. I wasn't really even sure it would happen in my lifetime. Pleasantly surprised is an incredible understatement.

I know there is a lot of focus on the political ramifications, and there is some mud-slinging going on (President Obama's 2008 opinion on same-sex marriage anyone?). But I want to focus on the most important part of this: the people. There are so many lives that are impacted by this decision, but there is still a lot of fear. Similar to when suffrage was extended to the black community and people were too scared for their lives to risk voting, there is some discrimination and hatred being shown towards the LBGTQIA+ community choosing to get married, and that's a problem. It's going to take some time for this stigma to fade.

But enough with the heavy, now I want to take a moment to celebrate!! This is amazing. This country was founded on a desire for freedom to and from religion. There was no need to put a Christian skew on legal marriage. Separation of church and state and all that. Marriage isn't just a Christian thing. It's a people thing for those that desire to be married, and now anyone can enjoy the benefits of a marriage recognized by the government. Say hello to spousal benefits. In the end, love is love. Make love, not war. #marriageequality #loveconquersall