On Caitlyn Jenner and Society

Here we go. The post to start the storm. I'm going to really try to stay unemotional through this, but I'm an empath. Me being unemotional is a huge joke. This is just one of those things that I feel very deeply for (well, really, it's just a part of the one thing I feel very deeply for: life of sentient beings). Just to outline what's going down in this post and to give you a heads up to run away if you'd like, my discussion - and I do mean DISCUSSION - for today will cover transgender as a "mental disorder," transgender and religion, and a blurb of my and some others' opinions on the whole thing.

Transgender as a "Mental Disorder"

I can't remember now where I saw it, but there was an argument claiming that transgender is a mental disorder and not a real state of being on the gender scale. P.S. it's not a gender binary with only two choices and that's it. But anywho, I am not a psychologist/neuropsychologist/or any type of scientist to dispute whether that is or isn't the case. Instead, let's pretend that it is in fact a mental disorder (I in no way believe it is, but for the sake of the point I'm wanting to make, let's pretend).

For a year and a half, I worked at a crisis hotline where I listened to people tell me about how torn up they were by their depression or sexual identity crises or scizophrenic episodes. There are support groups and counselors and some acceptance for these issues. Where is that for the transgender people? No where. It's immensely stigmatized and shoved deep into the closet to hide with the skeletons instead.

So many suicides have happened that we have finally realized the value of adding happiness and hope in life to those who are struggling with depression or anxiety or whatever other mental disorders. How many more transgender suicides have to happen before we'll see the value of adding happiness and hope in their lives as well? Better question, why does it matter who is committing suicide? Why can't we add happiness and hope to all life?

Transgender and Religion

If your argument for why Caitlyn Jenner is disgusting rests solely in your Christian beliefs, then please break it down for me advanced Barney style because I don't get it. She's a person. Love thy neighbor and all that. And don't be disrespectful by purposefully using the opposite gender pronouns from what she has asked to be used.

Now how about how we're all perfectly and wonderfully made in His image? You can't tell me God isn't some kind of intersex person with the entire range of gender. Who is to say that a transgender person is a mistake? God has to have in his possession both male and female everything if we are all to have been made in His image.

Now I'm sure there is also going to be some sexual identity arguments thrown in here though they are separate things and I'd rather focus on the gender identity part. But let's go ahead and humor the sexual arguments. Where in the New Testament does God say that homosexual marriage is wrong? He talks a lot about how you shouldn't lie with a man like with a woman out of lust and thinking that won't count as an affair. There was a great YouTube video over this, and I wish I could find it again to post it here.

Now Back to Caitlyn Jenner

Do I think Caitlyn Jenner making the transition should be this big of a deal? No. But that's because I think it shouldn't matter what other people are doing with their lives if it is in no way infringing upon the rights and personal safety of another. So she got a surgery to be happier with life and more comfortable in her own skin. She wouldn't be the first person to do that. Breast implants or lap bands anyone?

As for all the shade thrown at Drake Bell and everyone screaming bloody murder because Caitlyn isn't a war hero, why can't all of that be separate? Why do we have to measure and weigh each instance against each other? Caitlyn Jenner got a surgery and is now a pretty strong face for the transgender community. Drake Bell is now getting death threats because of a transphobic comment; it shouldn't matter why or what he did, it shouldn't be happening. Our military is amazing. I'm married to a Marine for crying out loud. But an occupation is a separate thing entirely from gender identity. Tying this back to religion, aren't all "sins" equal and none are greater than another? Why then are different aspects of life getting compared like apples to coffee tables?

Here is some great additional reading that I am absolutely in love with. My main opinion over this controversy is it shouldn't take a celebrity to make something real. We should just care about all people no matter what simply because they are people. But Jon Stewart hit the nail right on the head with how Caitlyn is now getting treated and helps to bring up an amazing point about misogyny. "It's really heartening to see that everyone is willing to not only accept Caitlyn Jenner as a woman, but to waste no time in treating her like a woman." - Jon. Hello objectification and only being worth your appearance.

And lastly, here is a great video from a girl I used to be much closer to. Kait has some great points about transphobia, and I love how far she has come in her own personal journey as a bisexual woman.

Hateful comments will be deleted. If you can't have a mature discussion, please don't comment. We're all adults and should be able to enunciate our points with a logical reason to back up what we're saying instead of just slinging stinky opinions. If you have any questions about where exactly I stand on any issue, just ask. I'll tell you. This blog post obviously could have gone on for quite a bit longer so if it feels like anything is missing or lacking clarification, let me know, and I'll fill in the gaps. AND if you like what you see and want to see some more from fellow feminist bloggers on the web, check out this awesome linkup!!!

June Goals '15

I failed. I failed on almost all of my goals for May. We have been making progress on the house hunting front, and I have written about it a little, but everything else either didn't happen or stayed about the same.

What's weird though is I am still seeing more interaction nonetheless so thank you all so much for helping this blog to grow to more people :) Since setting goals hasn't been working out too well, I'm just going to give a little bit of a life update with a general direction of where I want to go next.

House hunting is going. We should be making an offer sometime next week and getting that process started. The dogs are still annoying each other per usual. The cat has figured out how to open the freezer and zippers. I've fallen out of my fitness routine thanks to all the changes at work with getting trained for a new position. AND I have actually been clued in to another job opportunity on my horizon. As I get more information on where I stand with it, I'll let you all know more. All I'm willing to say for now is I'm super excited for it, and I have incredibly high hopes due to who recommended me.

Where I want to go next....Let's see. I'd like to see this blog continue on its path to more interaction. I'm definitely getting better about taking time to be more active myself when I get home from work and everyone but Alma is sleeping. I would love to close on a house and scout out some great furniture (we don't own any furniture aside from an office chair). But more than anything, I can't wait to have a backyard for the dogs and to start my own garden projects. It's looking like we're going to be getting into a house that we are going to get to personalize with various projects so expect to see some more DIY in the future.

But that's enough for now before my big dreams start taking off down the rabbit hole faster than I can type them out. Is anyone else bad about goals like I am? What new and exciting undertakings do you all have coming up?

Our First and Last Huzzah!

At our apartment complex we have access to a pool, a sand volleyball court, several BBQ pits, and lots of picnic tables. So of course we have to host a huge cookout with all our friends at least once before we move and lose access to all that free stuff.

I happen to be the only vegan I know. No one is even a vegetarian or pescatarian or gluten intolerant or anything. Just me. Which means that of course there will be some vegan burger options for me, but there will be an overwhelming amount of meat. I have almost completely forgotten how to prepare anything other than chicken tenders for Husband. Absolutely take this as a cry for help (read: please post links to meat-eating bloggers so I'll be able to make something decent).

I like to think of myself as somewhat social so I know I'll be getting a few of my friends and their husbands and children to come. However, Husband is not as social. Other than the guys who came to Thanksgiving last year, I don't know any of the guys he talks about. Some of them have gotten married, but a lot of them are single, barracks guys. It's going to be an interesting mix that's for sure.

What are some of your favorite ways to enjoy the summer? Who all is a queen hostess and has tips for me? Any food or beverage suggestions?

Roundup: Inspiration

The Pro Bloggers Tribe has another roundup this week, and our theme is Inspiration! Read about overcoming trials, becoming your own hero, and creating some new things. Maybe even find some new bloggers who keep you inspired!

4 Steps to Take to Be the Main Character in Your Story

10 Ways to Motivate Kids in the Final Weeks of School

An Interview With My Yoga Inspiration: Fiji McAlpine

Choose Peace

Dance & Origami - Fashion Inspiration for Monday

Fall in Love With Someone Who Inspires You

Inspiration Board (Or Pin Board) A Tutorial

It Doesn't All Happen For a Reason

"Keep going. You are getting better everyday"

Manicure Inpsiration

Monday Motivation Board

My Clean Eating Journey

My Top 5 Secrets to Get Your Craft On!

No More Buts! Get Our of Your Comfort Zone and Travel

Painting my Background

RED with Anger

Transient Tuesdays: Create Change

Where Do YOU Find Inspiraton

BONUS***

Interviewing Bloggers About Their Blogging Experiences: Batch 2

Memorial Day: A Day of Remembrance

I know a lot of people are enjoying this three day weekend with food, fun, and games. And by all means, feel free to do so. Memorial Day is one of those holidays whose true meaning sometimes gets lost in translation across all segments of the population. So while this Monday is to be a day of celebration of life and freedom, it should also be a day of solemn remembrance.

For many people, Memorial Day kicks off the first day of summer fun. The weather is getting warm. Pools are opening since school is out (or almost out depending). There's a lot going on that can take away from who we're really celebrating: those who gave up their lives fighting for our freedom.

I'll keep this post brief since it is a heavier topic. I just wanted to give a friendly reminder that there are a lot of people who aren't as blissful this holiday weekend. Families and friends have been deeply and irreparably impacted, and this day can be a sad reminder of who is lost.

So yes, go out and BBQ and enjoy the hot weather by the cool water of the pool or beach. Enjoy this break, and live it up to the fullest. That is after all the reason why we still have a military to fight for our freedom. All gave some, and some gave all so that way all of the rest of us could live with the freedoms to be able to live life fully.

Usually this is where the questions come in, but for this one, I would much rather ask each of you to uphold a moment of silence in honor of those we have lost in the maintenance of our society. Have a blast with your holiday plans! I'll see you on Wednesday.

House Hunting is Exhausting

Husband and I have been working towards moving out of our apartment pretty much since the year started. Let me tell you, it's been slow going.

We've decided to go ahead and buy our first house. We have a lot of pets. That means a lot of pet fees. In addition to the first month's, sometimes last month's, security, deposits, and application fees, we're looking at thousands just to get in the door somewhere. That's pretty not doable for us especially since the only furniture we actually own is an office chair. If we're spending that kind of money, I'd much rather be buying a bed. And so, we're buying.

Now that in and of itself is a somewhat long process. First, you have to get approved for a loan. That took us a couple months to do. Then, once you're approved you have to give your requirements and numbers to your realtor (we were recommended a wonderful realtor so we got to skip that search). Then he/she will gather houses that fit, and then you get to go look. Then you have to narrow it down and work on the paperwork part. Then you have to wait for the closing process. AND THEN you can move in. Or do a little work/deep cleaning if it's a resale instead of new construction.

We have finally gotten to the looking at houses part. We looked at around 7 houses the other day that were all very rentable (we're planning to rent out the house after Roger's contract with the military is up). Only took two hours but it wiped me out. I mostly took pictures of the different kitchens to help me keep them straight, and I wrote notes on each one while we were still in it. I'll be posting tons of pictures once we finally make a decision and get moved in. Until then, it'll be imagination time. Especially since two of our options weren't even completed yet.

But the best part about all of this: our lease with our apartment is up at the end of August, and we should be all moved in just in time! Don't get me wrong, moving in the middle of summer is miserable, and I'll be moving us all by myself again so I'll be pretty exhausted this summer. But it is all so worth it to finally have a backyard for the dogs and a place of our own.

When did you all buy your first houses? What are some of your big milestone stories? Anyone have moving/furniture buying tips?

4 Steps to Take to Be the Main Character in Your Story

If we're completely honest, life is fleeting. Life is precious. Life is temporary. And worst of all, life is not guaranteed. Because of that, it is immensely important to live the life you want to live. I have 4 points that I follow so that I can be the hero of my own book of life.

1. Make life what you want it to be.

This is seriously the most important part. I'm sure we've all heard the phrase "be the change you want to see in the world," and that's great for the more ambitious of us. But for people like me who just want to chase happiness and fulfillment, that can be intimidating. Know this, you are the one who has to live with the consequences of your choices. Might as well make them what YOU want. I went to college because I was told to. College is where I learned to think for myself, and college is where I learned that I hated the principle of college (that's a post for another time). My parents weren't going to college for me. My friends weren't either. It was me. And what I truly, truly want from this life has nothing to do with higher education.

2. Understand that you can't and shouldn't please everyone.

We all know people pleasers in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make others happy. The problem comes when you become so consumed with the well-being of others that you stop taking care of yourself and lose sight of your own goals and dreams. It’s hard to take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with making time to do something selfish.

3. You are the caretaker of your own happiness.

Along the same vein as point 2, each and every one of us truly is responsible for our own happiness. Simply choose happiness. Yes, it is easier said than done, but start practicing. It gets easier the more you do it. If someone or something is poisoning you and stealing your happiness, sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and cut out that negative energy.

4. Other people's opinions of you are not your business.

This one can be the hardest to grasp, but trust me on this one. What is said about you behind your back doesn’t matter. If you’re living with integrity, your character will shine through. If you take nothing else from this post, take this: not your circus, not your monkeys. If someone wants to create drama about you, that DOES NOT mean you are required to get sucked into it.

Now let’s put it all together. Essentially, to be the star of your own show you need confidence. Living the life you want to be living the way you want it to be lived with the people who build you up will fill you up with joy, and you will be able to exude that positive energy. Your talents are gifts. Follow your passions. Have a good self-care routine. Help out where you can. “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.” And no matter what, never EVER forget that you are an important and worthwhile person simply because you exist. I’m glad you’re still here.

What helps you feel powerful in your own world? How do you stay present in every moment and remember what matters?