Saturday, April 25, 2015

To Reproduce or Not To Reproduce, That is The Question

This is going to be by far one of, if not THE most personal posts I have written so far, but this is something that has been weighing very heavily on my mind lately. Why do we reproduce?

I know in the beginning of time it was essential to reproduce to fill the earth and all that good stuff, but now the earth is over populated. I know in the more recent past children functioned as free labor. However, large families are not only nonessential in today's time, they can be a financial strain as costs of food, housing, and education continue to steadily increase giving us less bang for our buck. Which leads me back to why?

Some people find their purpose in their children and families. Some people want to continue their lineage. Some people want someone to love who will love them back. And those are all completely valid reasons. Where my quandary comes into play is what if there are no selfless reasons for choosing to make more people who then have to participate in the increasingly difficult scheme called life?

I in no way mean to offend as all of those used to be my reasons for wanting to have children. I wanted someone to want and need me. I wanted someone who would always be around so I wouldn't be lonely. I wanted to be able to finally have someone to live for that wasn't me. But all of those reasons are innately selfish.

Why would I choose to force the hardships of life onto someone I would love more than life itself? Why would I choose to watch her suffer and get her heart broken and feel lost and desolate like I did? Why would I willingly add another person to this world for him to be tainted and lose his zeal like I did? Thinking about the amount of pain and hurt in this world literally brings me to tears when I consider having a child who would have to go through it like I did.

My parents did a fantastic job of raising me to chase my happiness and keep life simple. I am so incredibly grateful for them, and I have asked my dad for his story of why I came to be. I have asked others as well. So I guess what I'm really hoping for with this post is for your why stories if you don't mind sharing them. There will be no judgement from me. I am just at a moral crossroads and am in need of some perspective.

So if you don't mind sharing, what are your why's for choosing to have children? I know everyone says the love is beyond worth it, but what about the sadness they go through? How do you handle that?