I Have a Confession

I have a confession to make: I have never been to Disney World. I haven't been to Disneyland either, but since I'm living on the east coast now, I don't really have a good excuse for not going. What's worse is I even vacationed in Orlando not too long ago. We went to Universal Studios and SeaWorld, and some of my family members went to Disney World. Just not me.

But that's going to change here pretty soon. Husband and I are planning a trip for next October! I'm hoping it'll be cooler then and less busy with all the kids in school, but I am completely clueless about this. Which resort should we stay in? Which parks and rides are a must? What about the meal plans? I'm vegan so that might not be the best fit for us.

We originally planned for 7 days, but with going to Universal Studios, too (Husband has never been there), we might stretch it out to 9 so we can also have some downtime to go to the spas. I just need some input from those of you who have been! I know we have to go to Be Our Guest (Beauty and the Beast is our story), but other than that, the week is completely open! Please help! This planner doesn't know what to do, and if you guys remember my first post, then you know that doesn't work very well for me.

Help a sista' out! And definitely post pictures and tell stories from your adventures if you would like to share :)

Should Appearances Matter? A Tale of Piercings and Tattoos

Body modification is one of those things that I feel passionately about. I think it's an amazing way to make a statement, cherish a memory, or even just become more comfortable and confident in who you are and who you want to be. On the flip side of that, if it's not your thing, that's just fine, too. But that doesn't give you the right to judge or demean those of us who do like piercings and tattoos.

To the topic at hand, I actually wrote a paper on body modification and why it is slowly becoming the next body project for our society. In another generation or two, it's going to be incredibly commonplace for someone to have a non-ear lobe piercing or a visible tattoo.

Believe it or not, I actually have a tattoo on my neck. When I wear my hair down, no one ever sees it. I actually surprise people when I pull my hair up and then explain that I have piercings and another tattoo and plans for more in the future. I guess I don't fit the stereotype.
Now why does this matter? Honestly, it shouldn't. There shouldn't be a stigma, and we shouldn't care so much about what other people are doing with their bodies. But the good news is you shouldn't let the opinions of others sway you from getting what you want since you would be helping the movement, and it won't be viewed as negatively soon (relatively speaking, of course).

This is another one of those "be the change you want to see in the world" moments. Whether that means finally taking the plunge and getting addicted to the adrenaline rush known as new ink or by simply being open-minded to the appearances of others, let's work together to create a society of acceptance instead of one where we live according to our differences. There is no need to tear others down for being different. Let's all build everyone up instead and all achieve our hearts' desires.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? What is your opinion on ink in the workplace?

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Withdrawal from the Karma Bank

I don't think I actually told you all this, but I've been having some car troubles. In July, I fould out that I had a couple issues with my engine (one of which was caused by a crappy oil change, no need to get into that). Then there was a recall on my air bags. Two trips to the Honda dealership later, I got those fixed. But then it turns out that my seatbelt had an issue. Yet another trip to the shop. Oh, and to top it off, one tire had a slow leak. And now, not even three weeks later, my car won't start. It's either the starter or the alternator. Fingers crossed for the starter.

I don't say all of this to bring you down or ask for pity. This is a story of how you should treat people and how you should go through life. I live by the Karma Bank. The Karma Bank knows all, people. Because of this, I often "make deposits" into the Karma Bank by paying it forward. Help out in all the little ways that you can while you can. Be the helping hand for others. That way, when it comes time for you to need the help, there will be enough good karma in the bank for you to be able to make a withdrawal. 

Paying it forward to the Karma Bank goes hand-in-hand with needing to live life optimistically. Don't dwell on the things that go wrong. Count your blessings instead of your mistakes. We thought we had roadside assistance through our insurance. Turns out we didn't actually sign up for it. We have it now, but that doesn't help with the car that is already broken down. BUT I have friends who can help me out with getting to work until payday on Thursday when we can afford to get the car towed and fixed.

Focusing on how many times the car has needed to go to the shop or that we forgot to get the roadside assistance would really suck. Instead, I choose to focus on how fortunate we have been that most of the repairs were free (the airbags, seatbelt, and I had a flat tire). This is only the second fix I've had to pay for. That's some awesome Karma.

So what's the take-home message? Live life with a giver's heart. Be the light for others in their times of darkness. Stay positive when it's your turn to walk in the darkness, and know that your kindness won't be forgotten.

How do you usually handle stressful situations? What do you live by if not the Karma Bank?

How Romance Can Look

(this is one of the only pictures from the day we got married)

The rom-com genre is amazing at giving us stories filled with warm fuzzies and other moments so sweet you'll get cavities if you're not careful. But growing up, this was my all-time favorite genre of movies. My mom and I would make a habit of watching the latest and greatest book from Nicholas Sparks come to life, and I regularly rewatched my favorite 3 rom-coms anytime I was feeling down.

But then, I got married. When I finally got to live my love story in person instead of always dreaming about it through the lens of text messages and Skype calls, I fell in love with our definition of romance and turned my back on the sickly sweet nonsense that I used to crave. I realized how fake and impossible most of it would be in the real world and how no one has conversations like they do in the movies. 

Romance looks a little different for every individual (I'm still waiting for a real proposal where he uses the words "will you marry me?" and gets down on one knee). For the most part, it really is the little things, though. Love notes can be on post-its. Flowers and chocolates can translate into your favorite treats. Rose petals scattered all over the bathroom with candles lining the filled bathtub can mean your person did all the chores so you have time to spend on yourself. 

Whatever you value, that's romance for you. One day I'll have my corny proposal with a candy ring and all our fur children will be there. It'll be just us, and no one will have to know (but I'll tell you guys ;) ). And it'll be perfect because that's romance to me. But you know what's even more romantic than all of your best imaginings? Communication. If you never take the time to tell your person what you want and what you like, you're only hurting yourself. You have to ask for what you want. We aren't mind-readers, people.

What are some of your cutesy stories? How do you show love to your person? Have you taken the time to make sure you're on the same page?

"I Identify as a Bird. Where are My Wings?"

As many of you know, I am of a certain opinion about being transgender. While having a debate/argument about what it takes to be a woman, I was faced with the argument "I identify as a bird. Where are my wings?" Here is my hopefully not long-winded response.

Genetics Don't Equal Identity

I stumbled across a post explaining that you can't be a real woman if you haven't experienced periods, miscarriage, and/or childbirth. I find this argument to be degrading. So because I may or may not actually have children of my own, you're telling me I'm not a real woman? My value and worthiness is strictly tied to the status and abilities of my uterus? I think not. 

I would like to reiterate that gender is not necessarily determined by one's biological sex. This is to say that what your genetics have to say doesn't really have to tell you who you are allowed to be. In addition, biological sex isn't a binary to begin with. Intersex is a thing. But once again, it doesn't really matter what your genitalia qualifies as, your spirit is its own entity.

Your Body and Your Soul are Not a Single Entity

I heard it best explained while in attendance of a Mormon church: your body is like the glove for your soul. Your soul is who you are. Your protective encasement is not. It is possible for you to feel in conflict with your body. Body image struggles are not uncommon.

I believe everyone has the right to feel comfortable in your own skin no matter how you choose to personalize it. For instance, I am really into body modification (a post for another time). I crave outward expression of my love for family and sparkles. I choose to personalize my glove in this way to better suit my soul.

You are the Only One who has the Right to Choose Your Labels

No one should EVER be forced to live within the constraints of a box chosen without his/her consent and approval. Growing up I was labelled as the smart kid. The smart kid stereotype comes with several shackles I have since thrown off, but throughout my junior high-high school years I struggled with finding myself outside of that box. Not being allowed to explore and choose my own labels that I could resonate with was stunting to say the least. And your DNA, your own body, should be the last thing to make decisions for you with which you have no peace.

Transgender suicide rates are ridiculously disproportionate. I think it is because there is a mindset that says your labels decide who your soul is allowed to be instead of allowing our souls to choose our labels (or even choosing to go without).

This was a pretty roundabout way of saying that just because someone who was born with the XY chromosome pairing wants to identify as a woman and undergo surgeries to make her glove more comfortable for her soul doesn't mean she should be constrained by her genetics. None of us are.

So where are your wings? Changing species isn't within the realm of possible. Choosing to follow where your heart leads you and finding your happiness is. Choosing to be imperfectly, humanly you is. Choosing to simply acknowledge and be who you were born to be is.

I don't know about you, but my wings are going to be permanently inked into my skin, and one day I will fly around this world to experience all that life has to offer. There are more important things than trying to force any and everything into boxes and making the people who want to pick their own boxes feel like death is a better alternative. Live and let live.

Prank Wars

Last night I got stuck at work, so when I finally got home, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I got changed into my bedtime clothes, and then when I walked out of the bathroom, I walked right into my husband. He scared me so badly I jumped back, screamed a little, and very nearly dropped my phone. He pulled me into a bear hug immediately to calm me down, and we both started laughing hysterically. But you know what? This means war!!

Usually he doesn't read these so I feel pretty safe brainstorming prank ideas with you all. So far, I've got taping a picture to the underside of the toilet seat and putting a post it on his mouse blocking the laser or being mean and putting a "sorry about the dent" note on his car. We have dogs and cats and electronics on almost every surface so I don't want to do any particularly messy pranks, but he's scared me twice. Now it's my turn. MUAHAHAHA. Ahem, excuse the evil laugh :)

Anybody got some good prank ideas? Or maybe some stories of fun times with your loved ones?

My Husband isn't My World

Now before you riot about how your spouse needs to be your top priority and how you become one and all of that, let me explain. My husband isn't my world. I never claimed him to be such, and he never will be. But let me tell you this: my husband is my future.

When we committed to being together for the rest of forever, we didn't commit to give up our individuality and the unique bits about ourselves that we love so much. And we didn't commit to give up our families and friends either. We didn't commit to being the exact same person, and we definitely didn't commit to being each other's entire lives.

I don't know about you, but I really like food. And my fur babies. And my friends. I love the possibility of change (I know, I'm kind of weird about this one). And I love not needing to have my husband to do the things I want. I go to the nail salon by myself. I take myself out to do things he doesn't like to do. I don't revolve around him. I'm still my own person, and I expect the exact same thing from him. If there's something he wants to do that I don't like, he doesn't need my permission to go have fun without me.

But deep in my heart's truth, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's my person, and I have no intention of leaving the path that we walk along together. He's my future. All of our big plans involve each other and changes to it are made together. But I will never ask him to sacrifice who he is and live solely for me. I want him to have passions and hobbies that don't have to include me. I don't want to be codependent on him for all of my heart's desires. That is why my husband isn't my world and never will be.

What hobbies do you and your person like to do together? What do you like to do on your own time? What all encompasses your world?