Sunday, June 25, 2017

5 Rules for Visiting My Newborn

So you think you want to come visit our newborn baby? Here are 5 ground rules to keep in mind to make your visit pleasant for all of us!

1. If You Are NOT an Animal Person, Don't Come
This is the ultimate "they live here; you don't." We have 2 dogs who are higher energy, who have been very attached to me throughout the pregnancy, who are very attached to the new baby, who are also both dominant breeds. I do not need to be worrying and/or stressed out about my dogs being outside or super noisy in their crate to accommodate you. Additionally, we have 4 cats. If you have an allergy, please keep that in mind, especially since the whole house is carpeted and one of the cats is long-haired.

2. I WILL Be Breastfeeding. Expect to See Boobies.
Breastfeeding is very important to me. It is a brand new experience for both the baby and me so we are doing our best to learn together. I will be nursing on demand and very likely just wearing a robe and shorts. If seeing boobs being used for their intended purpose bothers you, please wait until after the baby's first growth spurt (around 3 weeks) when we will be nursing less frequently and less likely to need booby juice during your visit.
3. If You Have Recently Been Vaccinated with a Live Virus, Wait 4 Weeks.
Vaccines which use live viruses mean just that: you have been injected with that virus. Recipients of vaccines containing live viruses can shed said virus to others such as newborn babies with brand new immune systems. I have no intention of arguing this point. The CDC has a published study about shedding (yes, the risk is low, still no thank you), and I'm sure Dr. Google has tons more info if you're curious.
4. If You Bring Vegan Food, I Will Love You More
This is by no means required, but I'm the only cook in the house. Walmart has awesome vegan foods in the freezer section (the Neighborhood Market has WAY more) if you don't/can't cook. Boca, Amy's, and Gardein are the three brands they carry. It's not all vegan, so please double check with me or Google. Offering to do things around the house would be super appreciated as well, but again not required.
5.  Don't Overstay Your Welcome
Pregnancy gave me a short fuse, and I am tired. I have just pushed an entire person out of my body, and Elie needs me every few hours so I'm not sleeping much. The dogs still need me, too. If I start dozing off, please don't ask me to stay up and hang out with you. I will be going to nap in my bed with my daughter since I'm the one with the booby juice. If you disagree with our parenting style and choose to comment on how much we hold our baby or refuse to let her cry or otherwise offer unsolicited advice, there's a good chance I will have words for you. Be a decent human and talk about us behind our backs instead so as to preserve our friendship.
And that's that! I truly hope you can understand where we're coming from. If you don't, then I will come see you whenever we're ready to venture out into the world. This period of transition is all about us learning how to be parents in our family of now 9. Patience with us would be awesome. We love you all. Thank you for supporting us through this journey!! <3 xoxo