"I Identify as a Bird. Where are My Wings?"

As many of you know, I am of a certain opinion about being transgender. While having a debate/argument about what it takes to be a woman, I was faced with the argument "I identify as a bird. Where are my wings?" Here is my hopefully not long-winded response.

Genetics Don't Equal Identity

I stumbled across a post explaining that you can't be a real woman if you haven't experienced periods, miscarriage, and/or childbirth. I find this argument to be degrading. So because I may or may not actually have children of my own, you're telling me I'm not a real woman? My value and worthiness is strictly tied to the status and abilities of my uterus? I think not. 

I would like to reiterate that gender is not necessarily determined by one's biological sex. This is to say that what your genetics have to say doesn't really have to tell you who you are allowed to be. In addition, biological sex isn't a binary to begin with. Intersex is a thing. But once again, it doesn't really matter what your genitalia qualifies as, your spirit is its own entity.

Your Body and Your Soul are Not a Single Entity

I heard it best explained while in attendance of a Mormon church: your body is like the glove for your soul. Your soul is who you are. Your protective encasement is not. It is possible for you to feel in conflict with your body. Body image struggles are not uncommon.

I believe everyone has the right to feel comfortable in your own skin no matter how you choose to personalize it. For instance, I am really into body modification (a post for another time). I crave outward expression of my love for family and sparkles. I choose to personalize my glove in this way to better suit my soul.

You are the Only One who has the Right to Choose Your Labels

No one should EVER be forced to live within the constraints of a box chosen without his/her consent and approval. Growing up I was labelled as the smart kid. The smart kid stereotype comes with several shackles I have since thrown off, but throughout my junior high-high school years I struggled with finding myself outside of that box. Not being allowed to explore and choose my own labels that I could resonate with was stunting to say the least. And your DNA, your own body, should be the last thing to make decisions for you with which you have no peace.

Transgender suicide rates are ridiculously disproportionate. I think it is because there is a mindset that says your labels decide who your soul is allowed to be instead of allowing our souls to choose our labels (or even choosing to go without).

This was a pretty roundabout way of saying that just because someone who was born with the XY chromosome pairing wants to identify as a woman and undergo surgeries to make her glove more comfortable for her soul doesn't mean she should be constrained by her genetics. None of us are.

So where are your wings? Changing species isn't within the realm of possible. Choosing to follow where your heart leads you and finding your happiness is. Choosing to be imperfectly, humanly you is. Choosing to simply acknowledge and be who you were born to be is.

I don't know about you, but my wings are going to be permanently inked into my skin, and one day I will fly around this world to experience all that life has to offer. There are more important things than trying to force any and everything into boxes and making the people who want to pick their own boxes feel like death is a better alternative. Live and let live.

Prank Wars

Last night I got stuck at work, so when I finally got home, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I got changed into my bedtime clothes, and then when I walked out of the bathroom, I walked right into my husband. He scared me so badly I jumped back, screamed a little, and very nearly dropped my phone. He pulled me into a bear hug immediately to calm me down, and we both started laughing hysterically. But you know what? This means war!!

Usually he doesn't read these so I feel pretty safe brainstorming prank ideas with you all. So far, I've got taping a picture to the underside of the toilet seat and putting a post it on his mouse blocking the laser or being mean and putting a "sorry about the dent" note on his car. We have dogs and cats and electronics on almost every surface so I don't want to do any particularly messy pranks, but he's scared me twice. Now it's my turn. MUAHAHAHA. Ahem, excuse the evil laugh :)

Anybody got some good prank ideas? Or maybe some stories of fun times with your loved ones?

My Husband isn't My World

Now before you riot about how your spouse needs to be your top priority and how you become one and all of that, let me explain. My husband isn't my world. I never claimed him to be such, and he never will be. But let me tell you this: my husband is my future.

When we committed to being together for the rest of forever, we didn't commit to give up our individuality and the unique bits about ourselves that we love so much. And we didn't commit to give up our families and friends either. We didn't commit to being the exact same person, and we definitely didn't commit to being each other's entire lives.

I don't know about you, but I really like food. And my fur babies. And my friends. I love the possibility of change (I know, I'm kind of weird about this one). And I love not needing to have my husband to do the things I want. I go to the nail salon by myself. I take myself out to do things he doesn't like to do. I don't revolve around him. I'm still my own person, and I expect the exact same thing from him. If there's something he wants to do that I don't like, he doesn't need my permission to go have fun without me.

But deep in my heart's truth, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's my person, and I have no intention of leaving the path that we walk along together. He's my future. All of our big plans involve each other and changes to it are made together. But I will never ask him to sacrifice who he is and live solely for me. I want him to have passions and hobbies that don't have to include me. I don't want to be codependent on him for all of my heart's desires. That is why my husband isn't my world and never will be.

What hobbies do you and your person like to do together? What do you like to do on your own time? What all encompasses your world?

On Elephants and Family

I saw this video on Facebook on Friday, and it hit me right in the feelings. It was a video showing how a mother elephant attacked her newborn baby elephant. They say that the mother may have tried to kill her son so that way he wouldn't have to live the same sad life that she has in the zoo, and that thought really resonated with me.

I am of the opinion that I do not want to purposefully have children. The thought ties me up in knots inside. This world is getting more and more dangerous (and stupid, thanks a lot my generation) with every passing year. I can't imagine what horrors will be commonplace by the time my child(ren) would be old enough to comprehend and participate in life outside our family and friends. It terrifies me.

So you know what? I feel for that momma elephant. Life is rough, and it's really hard to carve out a meaningful existence that doesn't feel like a waste of purpose and talent. I understand her thoughts of not wanting to purposefully put her beloved child through that.

But at the same time, I know I would have the exact opposite reaction that she had. I wouldn't abort my baby. I would go full-class sMother. That child would be suffocated with love and affection until the desire to practice independence kicks in. Those first two years of life will go by way faster than I could ever want. Those nine months of pregnancy where the baby is safe from the dangers of the world would be like the blink of an eye.

After the abuse, the video cuts to the baby crying inconsolably, tears staining his angel face. They say he cried for 5 hours. I don't blame him. I cried pretty hard, too. Babies are so precious, and all life matters. Everything in nature is a delicate balance. All things are fighting just to achieve homeostasis. And he had his entire world ripped away from him at Day 1.

Family is sacred, you guys. Cherish it. Whether it's the family you're born with or the family you choose, protect your people. Stand up for your people. Support your people. They, the people who love us, are what really matters and what makes this all worth it.


How do you like to show your people that you love them? What are some of your favorite bonding activities? How do you prepare your little ones to face the world?

My Deepest Apologies

I'm sorry! I hope you guys didn't miss me last week. Everything started happening all at once, and all my threads got tangled up and unravelled. But I'm straightening everything back out again, and can't wait to continue on this journey with you all!

My schedule at work got changed yet again, but expect my planner pics to be up on Instagram later this week! ;) (you see that? put a deadline to it so I'll actually be accomplishing this) That new job opportunity fell through while a new one opened up at my current work. I'm not excited yet, but my fire for direct sales has been rekindled.

When I start having themed days, those of you not interested in makeup will be able to avoid reading on those days just like those who don't want the DIY stuff can avoid those days! As my schedule returns to normal, I expect to be able to plan out more writings and get even more organized! BUT I want to try hosting a photo challenge for September to celebrate my anniversary!!

House news has been very positive. The house is so not built yet that I actually get to pick out everything, possibly including the siding as well! I get a somewhat custom house without having to actually build one for my first house :) The blessings are pretty immense on that front.

The animals are doing great. Husband has started seriously planning for life after the Marine Corps. The transition to civilian life is looking like it won't be overly stressful (it is still over a year away). Family drama is as it always will be: ever present but time zones away.

How was everyone's week last week? Any small goals being met? Any new goals to be set?

Why I'm Deleting TimeHop

Ever since I got TimeHop, I was checking it everyday to see what glimpses into the past I could find. Most days I was pretty disappointed. I have deleted my Facebook many times for a really long time, so there are months and months I didn't have a Facebook to be able to post anything. But summer is when I did the most posting, and I've had something to look back at almost everyday.

Enough! No more always looking back. It's time to start looking forward and making new memories instead of reminiscing on the old ones. It's time to live in the moment instead of staying trapped in the social media vortex that says, "Pics, or it didn't happen." I am allowed to live and have fun without having to document all my goings-on. We all are. Sharing is nice, but oversharing and living for social media is not (ironic I know coming from a blogger).

On the real though, life is as fleeting as a spring day. While we're in the storms, it's hard to see anything else, but as soon as the sky clears and the darkness fades into day, we have this glimpse of something beautiful. Then before you know it, it's gone, and we forgot to cherish it. It's so easy to forget to really live during the storms and instead be always waiting for the rainbows that slip right through your fingers. At least you can hold the rain from the storms, and use it to grow your garden of accomplishments and triumphs. You can use the hardship to write a better story and live a fuller, more meaningful life.

Life is nothing without opposites to teach us the value of every state of being. So yes, we do need the past to be able to appreciate the future. But that's it. Use it as a jumping off point. Don't stay trapped in a page from last year's chapter. Cultivate your garden, and keep writing your story! I know I can't wait to see what you will accomplish.

What is your crutch? Are you a lover of days gone by like me? What big plans do you have for when school starts up again?

July Goals '15

Update on how June went: we didn't actually close on a house yet haha. But we ended up picking a new construction that's not built yet so we have time. In addition, this means we probably won't be doing a lot of house makeover projects, probably just landscape/furniture projects instead.

My schedule got changed at work too many times to count so I wasn't very good about sharing and maintaining interaction, but now I have a set schedule (even if I get the other job my schedule will still be set just during opposite hours of the day) so I'm pretty hopeful about getting it all together. AND I plan on finally utilizing my planner!! Expect pics up on Instagram.

Also, Our First and Last Huzzah went pretty well :) except Husband gave away like all of the meat food so he had no leftover burgers to take to work like I was planning. But other than that, we're just trucking along trying to get everything together to move.

Now for the July goals: definitely utilize the planner and try to keep making progress in the house and blog interaction. I hope everyone has a safe and fun Fourth! I'll be working all night so have a little extra fun for me!

Speaking of, what are everyone's Fourth of July plans? Anyone got big plans for the rest of summer? What's new on your horizons?