Sunday, May 10, 2015

Fighting in Marriage

argument, marriage, hard, life, talking, team

Marriage is hard sometimes. Just like life is hard sometimes. But the way I see it, we wouldn't know much of anything if it wasn't for opposites. We wouldn't know day without night. We wouldn't know kindness without cruelty. And we wouldn't know what works without what doesn't. Opposites help us to be aware and appreciate what actually happens in life. One of the most common opposites we have would be the good days and the bad days.

Marriage is like that. The people involved in a marriage have outside factors that can play into whether they are going to have a good marriage day or a bad marriage day. Or even just a mediocre marriage day. Each day is different for a reason, and with two people playing into it, there's a lot more room for variety. But it isn't always easy to remember not to take your spouse for granted if everything is good and perfect all of the time. This by no means is me saying you have to act like a complete douche bag every now and then to make your person appreciate when you're nice. That's abusive and a horrible mentality to have towards the person with whom you have vowed to share your life.

But that's just it. We are trying to share lives as two whole, independent individuals. Two people who have thoughts and dreams and plans of their own. This can lead to some clashing, but the big clashes that can cause the most turmoil are the external ones such as financial stress and familial pressures. The world is a big place for two people to tackle by themselves, and there is a whole heck of a lot that can possibly happen.

So really, when we say that marriage is hard, it's really life that is hard. Tough external variables get brought in and taken out on the person you think will never leave because he/she vowed to stay with you til death should part you, but taking your person for granted is no way to make someone feel loved and wanted. Life is like chess, but you have to make your moves with your spouse in mind. You can't treat your spouse like a pawn to be sacrificed so you can win.

In marriage there isn't one winner and one loser. You win and lose together. You share. And you celebrate the differences that enable you to handle the wider variety of possible situations that comes with having two people to worry about instead of one. Don't let the waters of the external factors into your ship to sink your marriage. I don't know much about ships, but communicating about what is going on to cause your grumpy attitude that day instead of taking it out on your spouse would be like having buckets or whatever is used to keep the water out. Don't let life weigh down your marriage.

What are some ways your person makes you feel appreciated? How do you show your appreciation for your person? Any tips and tricks to share for how to maintain positivity through the storms of life without sacrificing your person?